Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hi,
So long story short, my 4 yo (now 5) disclosed that his father was sexually abusing him for a long time last May. I have been trying to do anything and everything I can to help him, but I had PTSD from abuse from him (sexual assault/mental/physical abuse) upon leaving the relationship and he has fully used it against me to the point that I reported that he was still abusing me. (the court put me in a horrible nesting situation in which of course my ex used against me). My ex and his lawyer then went in and said I was crazy and the court took my children from me without any medical diagnosis and gave them to him, leaving me with supervised visitation.
Ironically, my PTSD has been for the most part gone since early 2021. I am now waiting on a psych evaluation so that I can basically say that he has in fact been doing all of the above to me and my children, but because of COVID everything is majorly delayed and it's been over a month of me looking for someone just to get an appointment. I'm exhausted. It's unbelievable to me that someone can abuse their spouse for six years, their child and that the court just believes them because they are always calm. Of course they are calm....NO ONE was abusing them! The only joy that brings me is that my domestic services therapist testified that it was PTSD and not the mental disorder they are making up. Also, that my career is going very well right now. Any words of hope would be appreciated.
Praying for a good outcome for you and know you are not alone.
xo
It's 2021. Stories of abuse abound. Reactions to abuse are no secret.
Please let me say, at last, how sorry I am that this has happened to you and to your son. When the world was going into Covid lockdowns, I prayed for protection for all who were stuck in abusive households. Yours was the foreseeable situation. And now you're being punished for explaining what was quite predictable.
Please have a look at these resources:
www.mosac.net -- this offers a thorough examination of all that mothers of sexually abused children must face
www.rainn.org -- this organization runs a hotline you can call for support anytime (1-800-656-HOPE) as well as a live chat feature in case you want to keep your questions/comments silent.
And please: come back as often as you needs and WRITE!! Writing your thoughts allows you to get them out of your head in an organized (or semi-organized) way so you can hear your voice saying what you could not safely say before. After finding a place of safety, this is the next essential step toward healing.
I'm so glad you have a therapist already. Keep that relationship going!! You deserve to be heard!!!
Naive- The court system needs more education. Non-educated decisions should not be made, especially when the one alleging the "mental illness" is a bitter ex-husband who is trying to cover up his tracks of horrible abuse. Thank you for writing back.