Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
So, my oldest has been doing EMDR for a couple months now. He was also put on a medication related to benadryl to help him fall asleep without anxiety. It has worked wonders for him!
My special needs son is actually at a place where he is "graduating" therapy for now! He only has 3 sessions left and for the past 2 kept saying he had "nothing left to talk about!" I know there will be more in the future but I'm grateful for the respite.
My daughter's therapist is back from her sebatical. She is starting my daughter on EMDR and adding a really neat video game system that's hooked up to the body so that the cars go faster when the patient relaxes! She went to a seminar for EMDR and came back really excited and is updating her therapy room with a whole bunch of stuff to make it state of the art EMDR stuff!
My little guy is doing better but his day-time accidents and night terrors are still pretty bad. So much so that we finally made him an appt. with the same psychiatrist that my oldest sees and hope that he will be allowed to try the same medication related to benadryl seeing as how melatonin and benadryl haven't alleviated his night waking for over 3 years! However, we have gotten him to sleep outside our door rather than in our bed after waking; most nights he doesn't panic and force me to give in the bringing him in our room! Progress is progress. We also FINALLY received the 1st VOC reimbursement check for $720! 2 more on their way soon...or so they say. Lol
My hubby and I are mostly back to normal. We are actually thriving in our marriage right now since working through the hard revelation/revealing of my one-time sexual abuse at his hands. We REALLY enjoyed our 2 night get away from the kids and caught up on much needed sleep and romance. I'm so thankful for us! :) He/We continue to meet with our pastor and both choose to love each other with forebearance/mercy/unconditional love. Oh! And I am starting EMDR next week with my therapist...starting with my mom issues. I'm a little nervous...I hate losing control! Lol. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get back to "normal." Also, speaking of my mom, she has been pretty good at following the guidelines we set forth EVEN WHILE my mother-in-law has stayed with us for a month!
Anyways, dare I say things are starting to look up?! HOPE...it is a strong medicine and I'm taking high doses of it right now!
You won't lose control during EMDR. You have to participate willingly. I tried hypnosis many years ago when I was feeling anxious about everyday mom stuff and it was very effective, and I could never remember what happened while I was "under." Not so with EMDR -- fully conscious, but my reactions were unconscious. I'd feel stuff bubbling up from under the surface, I'd feel my breathing get harder and tears well up in my eyes (thinking about the perpetrator). Then I'd feel increasingly relaxed. I remember the whole thing. You will too, and you can stop at any time, unlike with hypnosis, which is fully reliant on suggestion.
Anyways, also wanted to share that my oldest is taking 1 pill of 25 mg hydroxyzine pamoate also known as Vistaril, which is the relative of benadryl and has practically no side effects. It works great for his anxiety/insomnia at bedtime.
My little guy was put on 0.05 (half a 0.1 tablet) MG of clonidine hcl, also known as catapres. It is supposed to help him not wake up from nightmares at night BUT his pattern persisted through the 1st night of taking it. He was up at 12 a.m. & 3 a.m. with a nightmare, sleeping outside my door when I opened my door. I'm hoping we don't have to up his dose but I think we will. I just want my little man to sleep through the night so he can be healthy, grow, feel good during the day, have more energy...he hasn't slept through the night since he was about 18 months old, which is also when he stopped napping unless i held him, totally not in his perfect-child character and around the time we believe the abuse began. It has stunted his growth and he has perpetual bags under his eyes. He's only 5. My heart breaks when I think about trying to find out what was wrong with him for all these years and not having the knowledge of sexual abuse to see that as the problem. Anyways, the psychiatrist said that Vistaril, what my oldest is on, was too strong for my little guy. One of the most likely side effects that I have to watch for with this drug is my little guy's blood pressure dropping. So, as we try this, I've been advised to take his blood pressure if he seems off in any way and if it's low, take him to the ER. Fun stuff! Lol
So...today's stress is that somehow my keys have been lost so I can't go anywhere we need to go including therapy for everyone. We think the baby stole them but nobody really knows! I know i had put them up on the key holder last time i saw them! We've torn our house apart and still haven't found them. *sigh* This takes me back to the year my son had cancer and I wasn't allowed to drive for 8 months until I could prove I didn't have a seizure disorder...it was SUCH an anxiety provoking, stressful year. I'm working very hard to not freak out about the fact that I need to be so many places that I can't be, or grocery shop, or get out of the house but it is taking LOTS of strength to do so! Please pray we find my keys!