Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
I thought that once the criminal case was resolved we'd have the option to do that, but it turns out we can't because of a technicality. I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to see it but I expected to finally have that option. The reason I would want to is that what the police detective and CPS summarized to us of what she said differed quite a bit from what our daughter told us happened--and her version is actually much closer to what her brother said he did than to what they said. I'm sure they never had a chance to collaborate their stories. When she realized what they had told us, she tried to tell the CPS worker that they misunderstood her or got it wrong, but CPS just took it as her recanting her testimony and basically ignored her. I wanted to see for myself what she really said, knowing her better than they do, and be able to determine whether 1) she was trying to spare us the worst of the story or 2) they really did get it wrong. If I never see it I will just continue as I have so far, making a conscious decision to believe my kids instead of CPS. But there will always be a little doubt in my mind... On the other hand, if I viewed it and found out she really did reliably say what they said she did, then I'll have to figure out where to go from there with her, have to re-process how bad things really were, that could get messy...
Mostly I'm just wondering how many of you either wanted or did see firsthand what your child said in the interview, either in court or in some other setting. Was there anyone else who wanted to but couldn't? If you did see it, how did you handle it?
The closest I’ve come to seeing the forensic interview is hearing my son’s trauma narrative from therapy, but I know for a fact that he left some things out of that; his first therapist mentioned to me a couple of things that never made it into the trauma narrative.
I hope you can see your daughter’s forensic interview, if only to give yourself some peace, and to allow you to move forward.