Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hello I am new here and been reading for almost a month now. I guess I am finally able to post. I found out Aug 7th this year when detectives nocked on door with search warrant and that my babies boy 12 and daughter 10 made some allegations about my soon to be ex husband. Talking about being in denial and thinking that their biological father put them up to it to obtain costudy. Needles to say the next day it was all over the local news on tv and I found out that he admitted to some during phone conversation with my daughter that detectives set up a week prior. I have never ever felt so much hate and disgust in my life. I still feel guilty and ashamed to have brought him into our lives and I feel that everybody thinks I knew which I did not. I still don' t see any signs thinking back no grooming nothing. No different behavior from kids nadda. Their dad got emergency costudy and trying to say that I knew and all kinds of stuff about me that are false. I kept telling detective I wanted to take polygraph to show I was not lying or that I knew. She said I did not need to there is no reason. Cps came and talked to me and even went to court with me and told judge and their dads lawyer that there was nothing to charge me with and allegations against me are unsubstantiated. Now we are ordered to mediation and next court date is Nov 21st for costudy. All i want is my babies i wanna hold them tell them how Sorry I am but I am not allowed to talk to them about it at all per judge because of criminal case against my soon to be ex. I don' know all he did to them just some and it's driving me crazy with all the images in my head that will not stop. I don' t know how much more I can take. I want them home and don' understand how they could let their father keep them when he had tried to molest my then 13 year old in 2006. I called cops and it was investigated but daughter did not want to testify. I need help because I just don' know where to go or what to do. Any suggestions from you guys would be awsome.
Welcome to the forum.
I'm so sorry this has happened in your family. It's not your fault, and the guilt belongs only with your exes -- boyfriend and husband. Almost NONE of us had a clue until it was too late. Abusers are evil, manipulative sociopaths who make SURE that all appears to be perfectly normal, and most of our children are/were too terrified/ashamed/confused to come forward to tell us what's happening at the time. It's good that you became aware of the truth relatively close to the time of abuse, because, when your children are returned to you, you will be able to get them mental health care right away. Your kids are terribly brave to have revealed their abuse, and they definitely hope you will help them now.
I have no legal advice (sorry), but I want to recommend that you spend considerable time exploring this site:
www.mosac.net
It will help you realize that everything you feel is normal and legitimate.
Also, I would advise you strongly to find a therapist for yourself, preferably one who specializes in PTSD, because that's what we parents experience after our children disclose that they have been victims of this horrifying crime.
Keep checking in here, and writing. It helps.