God bless you, bonnieboo11. You are pushing forward. You are making careful, good decisions. You are getting through this. So she starts on Monday?

No she actually starts on Friday,she was suppose to start today but admissions is so overwhelmed with new patients, sad ,they told me in the last 2 weeks they have had 10 admissions a day!!! Our youth are in serious crisis.
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Such a sad scenario. I thank God your daughter has a chance to start so soon. I will be thinking about you in the morning. Stay in touch. <3 <3 <3

Oh I am sure I will be here often, I am nervous mostly because she is not allowed to take a phone, so unnerving sending your child to a place 1 hour away, with kids who may be violent in a van with someone driving that you don't know.I am a worrier so it will be a long day tomorrow!!!

Can you get a phone number from (or give yours to) the driver? There are good reasons for disallowing phones in these programs. Students/patients can use them to contact others to help them "break out," kids can post photos of other patients to social media (against HIPAA), they can distract kids from the therapeutic work they're there to do, and they can be stolen or traded, or just plain lost or broken. Still, we are really spoiled by access to constant contact, and this is (I KNOW) really scary. Is it possible for you to follow the van, just for your own wellbeing?

LOL follow the van, I thought of that but it is an hour away and that would make me the "crazy mom" which I have been fighting since she was born. I worry,worry,worry about everything,even when she is asleep, will someone break in through her window? Will she stop breathing? Even when she goes to friends homes or out,will the parents drive safely? an on and on,its part of my OCD and the more I think about it the worse I get.I have to trust that everything will be ok and keep busy

It WILL be fine -- they do this every day at that facility. If the van situation were problematic, they would discontinue it, because no one in medicine needs to feel they're at extra liability. But I completely get your concern. It's a cruel twist that we often feel as if we are helicoptering, but then sexual abuse snakes its way in where we least expect it. And yet it makes us want to watch even more carefully.....

Exactly, I was overly cautious but did not really let her see it and it still happened.She was never really a sleep over type of kid so I lucked out, But if she was somewhere with friends and their parents I would call with rediculous questions. " hey I'm at the store,what kind of cereal do you want, or what was the name of that movie we watched" I know I am crazy.I know it will be fine,I just need to not watch the news tomorrow while she is gone!!! I don't know how I did not know about the abuse, never in a million years did I think he would do that,he wasnt the type.Well I guess he was but I know God has my back and will watch over her.I am just a worry wart.

You're not crazy. You love your daughter with all your heart. Well, I guess that's the same thing. Childrearing is difficult on a good day. We are crazy to undertake this project over which we have no ultimate control; all we can do is our best. It sounds like you're doing that.

Thinking of you this morning!

Thank you, I am a mess!!!

I read something like this once: It's okay to fall completely apart; it means you are free to rebuild yourself better and stronger.

But you are not alone in that pursuit. Vent. Get it out. We will listen, without judgment, and support you. For months, I absolutely relied on check-ins with the fellow travelers here just to get through the day.

Thank you and I have.Made a new long post today

Thanks...now I see it!