Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hello, I haven't been on in awhile. I get too busy and sometimes I want to pretend that this isn't happening. It has been a year and a month since my daughter disclosed. She sees her dad supervised once a week. She doesn't say too much about that surprisingly. She will cling to me before she leaves, but then when she comes home she doesn't seem like the visit was traumatizing. She is doing well in school and with friends. At home is a completely different story. It seems like she has anxiety. For the past two months, she has been complaining of headaches every day. Some days it would be stomachaches too. I took her to the doctor who said that she might have allergies. We tried claritin for 10 days...no help. Now, she has started randomly vomiting. Then she will be fine and running around. I did tell her therapist about it, but to be honest, I think her therapist has more than a few screws loose so I have no idea how that is going to turn out. SInce we are still in court, I feel stuck because it seems like the more concerned or worried that you get as a mother, the more they think you are crazy and trying to make things up! Our judge actually said that she thinks I have separation anxiety from my child. UM....what mom would be excited about their child having to visit with their abuser?!!
1. The mom must have known all along and his it. If a father is doing this in the house how could you not know. Well... I can speak for myself that actually, I didn't know. I even filed for divorce when I knew things were suspect but my daughter didn't graphically disclose until 3 months after.
2. Moms who marry perpetrators must be nuts too. Actually my MMPI was normal and in a study done - some moms have higher scores on the schizophrenic scales etc during the distress of the discovery but that most ultimately have normal MMPIs. I can attest to the fact that a child's disclosure does put you out of your skin and should.
3. Moms commonly falsely allege sex abuse against father's especially in the context of divorce. Nope - a study in Canada found of malicious intentional fabrications of abuse physical or sexual only 1.3% believed of this nature from moms. In fact men were found more likely guilty of malicious fabrication at 21%. Nonetheless courts in Canada had a rate (and I believe US would be similar) of determining 30% of moms allegations intentionally false. That is 8-10x what scientific research concludes.
So the reason you are facing adversity - is due to the common societal misconception of mothers and children involved in allegations of incest. Scientific research supports you mama, the courts commonly don't and will operate under myth based thinking.
Good luck!