Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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Isobella 04/09/2017

My now 4 year old. She's just had a her birth. Has recently disclosed that her father has been "fucking" on her.

A few months back she came home extremely sore on her bottom and vagina and it wouldn't heal I ended up taking her A&E which triggered a social services assessment. My daughter was diagnosed with Strep A in both her bum and vagina. The dad campaigned that I was excessively paranoid about my daughter being sexually abused and told everyone that would listen. The social service report came back that they believed no sexual abuse was happening and that the allegation was made by me due to having an acrimonious relationship with my ex, my daughters father.This is with them literally making a complete hash of understanding the hospital report and thinking quotes from my daughter are actually from me. Prior to this we got on well and I didn't make the alert the hospital did. Dad is very charming and people are easily pulled in by him. Since then I have ensured that he is never alone with her and we now do contact at a contact centre.

I am 100% sure that she is being sexual abused by her father. She is due to speak to the specialist police team this week and I pray she tells them something. However I doubt she will.

The contact centre has messed up and told him my daughter has made a disclosure.

I'm feeling devastated and so alone. Every professional seems to be messing up and I feel increasingly ineffective in Saufegaurding my daughter or getting her voice heard. I am not sure how I deal with this. If he doesn't get charged with this he drag me through court for access.

I can't actaully believe this is all happening to us.

Is system

Naive1.2 04/09/2017

This is deeply distressing. I'm so sorry. A four-year-old -- how does she even know that vocabulary or what it means? It's highly unlikely that she made this up, and it's highly unlikely that docs could find strep in those areas unless there was real abuse (God, she must have been in such pain!).. Your husband sounds like a classic manipulator, who should have no contact at all with your little girl. Yes, you've definitely been let down by "the system." I'm in the States, and don't know your system. Others here are from the UK and may have actual advice.

Eeyore 04/09/2017

Hi there and first of all welcome to our group. Your among friends now and can tell us anything we will understand and hopefully give you support.
I'm from the UK if it help my story is different from yours but it was my husband who abused my daughter (his step daughter)
I hope you get the help you need this week and if things aren't going as you expect I'd urge you to make a complaint.
Please let us know how things are going xx

Isobella 04/09/2017

Thank you for your responses ladies.

The disclosure has only been recent but this whole thing has been going on since November. So wasn't sure at the time but my daughter said she didn't want to see him alone so I listened.....thankfully and supervised his visits then moved over to contact centre. I've allowed her two contacts since disclose because after she told me she was worried I would tell daddy off so I didn't want her to feel punished for opening up to me. Also I wanted my daughter to speak to police first before changing any contact details because I didn't want her to claim up thinking her revelations have stopped her from seeing him. She loves and adores him.

I will update you come Wednesday. fingers crossed that she is able to talk to the specialist police team and pray they are good at their job.

x

Eeyore 04/11/2017

Also seek help and support for yourself too. If you are in the UK most places have a specialist counselling service and have a look at websites like mosac xx good luck tomorrow

Isobella 04/12/2017

The social worker has cancelled today's meeting, yesterday. I called the CAIT team yesterday to find out the process so I know what to expect when they come to my house to speak to my daughter. the allocated officer only new about our case from me calling and hadn't read it. I think this prompted the cancellation,

I've tried to contact MOSAC but haven't got through yet. Hoping to get a call back and also gone through time to talk for counselling.

Complete disbelief that I am in this nightmare.

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