My biggest price of advice is if you don't have a good feeling about the therapist move on,trust your gut.A good therapist will help her work through not force her to talk.I have been to bad and good and believe me a good therapist is worth their weight in gold.Are you in the US?

No in the UK. I'm going to have to pay privately

Well like a good education consider it an investment in her well being.

Agree with Hopeful! Finding the right counselor will be worth the cost. If you get a conviction, you can also file a civil suit to help recoup your expenses.

I've just been notified that the abuser will be recieving copies of all her video taped interviews and get video medical exam. I am disgusted. Why can't they just give them the transcripts. Why would they put a video of my baby in the hands of a pedophile. I'm horrified

I can not believe they are doing that, does your daughter know?

I would call the courts and explain that a pedophile should not have a video of a child

Brokenmother I'm also in the UK. I did alot of research around finding the right counsellor and although I've found a private one she doesn't specialise in this but she has experience. I'm on the waiting list for a specialist place at the moment. I'd suggest you find a specialist one look online and find one in your area ill send you a private message to where I got mine. As for the recordings I do wonder about our justice system here, this is why my daughter is reluctant to go to the police. Xx take care xx

I have to add although someone special ializing in abuse is a good thing don't get fixated on that.We have a wonderful therapist who does not specialize in trauma but she helps my daughter so much.Find someone you like,that you click with and continue to search for trauma expertise.We happened to find a trauma therapist who was wonderful but we also saw some who didn't know why the heck they were doing!

Therapy without a counselor that your daughter feels comfortable with is futile. Our school counselor in middle school recommended we take our daughter to a local mental health and counseling services and it was not a good experience. The environment was very clinical with a huge waiting room with tons of people and she was so self conscious. She had to talk to 3 different counselors before she was finally paired with one that was available to take her case. She refused to talk and there were long pauses with the counselor not saying anything either. Very awkward. We found another counselor on our own and she has been amazing. She made us feel at ease right from the start any my daughter has been able to trust her. I started having my own sessions a few months after my daughter started. I was never the type of person who thought I would ever go talk to someone about myself but I can't tell you how necessary it was and the benefits for my own sanity.

Thanks that's all really helpful

If you dont like a counslor move on to another. I am adimant about my daughter talking to someone because my whole life i have pushed things down and just "forgotten" about them so this is one thing i refuse to accept i just dont want to... stay strong and just know you are doing what is best for your daughter. and maybe the break between counlsors is just what she needs. Good luck momma

Yeah I'm thinking this break might be good. I also want to make sure she does recieve something. The EMDR therapy looks like going to work out

OMG Brokenmother I know what you mean.......the police never even asked for my ex's laptop.... he has a vast number of photos of her on there........that made me sick as well, they seem to confiscate every-body else's laptops according to the media

I am so sorry for your dilemma, but don't let your daughter bury this and not deal with it. I had an uncle and mother who were both abused by their older sibling and the uncle was the unhappiest person I know and refused to have any of his own children and refused any professional help in the matter, said he had dealt with it himself years ago and buried it, he hadn't. And a mother that sided with my sick perverted father and told everyone that I made up my children's sexual abuse story and forced my children to learn this lie. My children weren't excited about talking about this with a counselor either, but we were lucky and got an awesome one and she did help my daughters and my self. Don't give up, your daughter deserves to know you have her back to the fullest.

I also had the same fears as you regarding my children's abuser seeing them, in fact when they went to court for the trial I encouraged both of them to wear very baggy or covering clothes so he could not see anything but their faces, they agreed and did so. But they both looked this waste of skin in the eye and told what he did to them. It took the jury less than 20 minutes to find this p.o.s GUILTY!!! Your daughter needs your strength so she can be strong. And I don't know about you, but our trial took over 3 years to happen with 7 different dates during those 3 years and then sentencing took another 13 months and that was with 3 different dates because it kept being put off. If that happens to you your daughter and you will have to deal with the stress that comes every time a new trial date comes and goes with nothing happening. And if like us this p.o.s. will be out walking free for most of this time. And they will only take computers and such if there are accusations of child porn, at least in our county. And all the professionals tell you to keep life normal for your child during all of this, yet it's hard to have a normal life when every couple of months you are being told your trial date has changed yet again. By the time sentencing came our daughters refused to go, they said he'd been found GUILTY so they were going to do what they had been told and try to get back to what "normal" is now for them.