I recently discovered my Great Nephew...my niece's son.....was molested by his uncle, my nephew 3 years ago. The details are unclear at this point as my niece has not reached out to me yet. The great nephew called my girls to disclose since they were also victims of CM by his great grandfather, my nieces adopted father, my sisters husband. Sorry for all the family history, I just needed to set the topic up. My nephew, we will call him X, had a strong issue with me expelling my sister out of my life....not the perp, but his wife. I told my family, "you are either with us or against us"...that was 3 years ago and I finally reconnected with X. Briefly, his true Mom, my other sister, died when he was 2 years old and we were court issued as a family for the children to go to the perp and my sister. My nephew X, has had such an issue his whole life missing his Mom. X is now 42. But as a child he seemed lost (never drugs) just lost, like he didn't belong with that family but since his biological father was alive but did not want the children, he called the shots or he would give the children to HIS mother and we would never see them. So our options were limited. Point of the topic. Since it is just coming to light that X molested his OWN sisters son, Y, at age 13, we are now finding out the ugly truth in our family. X was molested as a child by the same perp that molested my girls, the parent he was given custody to. I love X as my own son and he would spend the summers with us, however once the perp was "outed" X chose to help my sister as it is the only Mom he has. Now, my point is if X told us as a child he was molested, our entire family would be in a complete different situation. My girls would never have been molested, he would have gotten the help he needed as a child and perhaps the family would be intact. This point is so important because the cycle must be broken...the monster must be exposed immediately and we should try to teach our children in generations to come that if they are ever violated it is safe to come tell us immediately....from my own family I know that they never said anything for a few reasons, such as disbelief, protecting the family and the shame that they feel. We have to enlighten our children that none of the above would happen. We must learn to listen to them and not rush to judgment but uncover the real facts and go after the perpetrator right away...then perhaps the cycle will be broken.
I am not sure where my family will go with this. The police have been involved, but it is so difficult to proceed for my Great Nephew...he is completely aware that X is his Mom's only true blood kin and she is very close to him...but now she is left with nothing.....of course I will be there for her, I will help her work through this and we will get help for my GN....as for X I don't know his fate, but I do know I should have seen the signs as he was a child but gain like so many other families, I never knew this monster existed. I was completely blindsided and naive throughout my adult years. This story is very tragic with many victims and will forever be a part of our lives..it will not define us but it will be there. We must not suffer in silence or let our children suffer in silence, perhaps we could intervene with the first encounter.....I don't know but it is a very sad day to grapple with this once again. Gratefully I have learned some tools from this amazing website and some very empowered and compassionate parents...this monster will not win again, his exposure and ripple effect will now have to be seen by my family that CHOSE to stick by him.....it has now come full circle. Thank you for listening and hopefully someone will be able to use this information to prevent one child from being a victim.