Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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/ Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Support Group

Boys abused by their father

hhunting
hhunting

The first disclosure was over a year ago.  My five year old, then almost four, started talking about "robot fingers in his bottom" and "ninjas sneaking in my room at night at daddys house". When I asked further questions it was, "I dont want to talk about daddys!" and "I dont want anyone to go to jail!" The father, my ex-husband and I were in the beginnings of a custody dispute.  I wsnted the boys full time and he wanted to keep 50/50 visitation on a rotating schedule of 4 days on/off.  My two year old began making statements that someone was touching his bottom at daddys, always constipated, always complaining of pain around the same time.  I never thought in a million years that it was my ex-husband!  I reported to DCS/ CPS around that time.  Claims were "unsubstantiated"...Im sure because we were in a fight for custody... Fast forward to Jan 2018...My younger son blurts out that "daddy touches my pee-pee" during bathtime...I started recording the boys back in November after they talked about drugs and activities at daddys trailer when they were with him.  I now have over 80 recorded conversations with the boys disclosing being touched by their father.  Only the last few are of my older son revealing his "secret" FINALLY after he realized the younger son was talking. My younger son told the pediatrician that his daddy touches him after he disclosed it to me during bathtime.  The Dr. reported it to DCS.  We went to court and the judge ordered supervised visitation for dad.  Meanwhile, DCS AGAIN found claims "unsubstantiated".  Two weeks ago disclosure made to therapist, DCS "screened-out" the claim this time when the therapist reported it!!!! I have written letters to Senators, Indiana director and the assistant director of DCS, I have contacted anyone I can on local, state, and even federal levels!!! Next, I am going to the media!!!! Fighting for my kids and giving them a voice to be heard...

heartsadx3
heartsadx3
Wow how very frustrating. Why aren't the police involved along with cps. Or am I misunderstanding. I can't understand how it can be so difficult to protect our children. Continue fighting, therapy etc for kids. Let them talk to you but also encourage them to be open with the therapist. It's a tough position in that as a mom we want to be there and take care of everything but we are on trial for coaching our kids or using this as a custody issue instead of what it is the safety and well being of our kids. Yet at the same time I remember struggling with how to help. I'm glad your kids are speaking up.
newstartatlife
newstartatlife
You have my empathy. Stay strong and KEEP FIGHTING for your boys. I’m going through something similar and CPS has been the most disappointing agency to deal with in all of this trauma. Not to sound childish but they suck and I’m convinced that their social workers are trained to rubber stamp everything that comes across their desk with “unsubstantiated”. Are the police involved?
hhunting
hhunting
The police did the initial interview with DCS when the Dr made his report. I gave as much detail as I could even providing 8 of the recordings to the caseworker. The claims were assessed and found unsubstantiated. The supervisor of the caseworker called me and told me to get the boys into therapy and I did. I'm even taking them to the place she recommended. The therapist made her report to DCS on the second appt with the boys! But because the case was just closed on the first assessment, literally 2 days before the report was made by the therapist, I was told that it would probably be found unsubstantiated. This is crazy. My older son revealed even MORE details of what his father had been doing to him and his little brother just 2 weeks ago. This time I filed a police report. I can't believe how broken our system is here.
Momabearx10
Momabearx10
Bless your heart!! This system is beyond broken. They either do nothing or do too much. I don't get it. I am sorry for you and your babies. My son was molested by his older friend. If you haven't already go to mosac.net. Its a website for mothers of sexually abused children. And it goes into the process and how we feel as moms. It really helped me. Welcome, saw your comment on another post and it struck home for me.