I am so sorry to hear what has happened yo your family. This is in no way your fault. You had no clue that he is a monster. With that said, it is normal to feel guilty..just tell yourself that you did what you could with the information that you had at the time. Really it is what you do now that will be the most important part. And you already are! How wonderful that you believed your child! How fantastic that you are holding him responsible. You are amazing! This experience has been so very hard for all of us. Yet here we are, trying to make the best of it.
You and your family will survive. You are strong! He didn't choose your child to abuse because of anything you did or did not do. He choose your child because he could. This is all on him. You did not invite him into your door to hurt your family. The sad fact is that there are so many monsters among us. His other victims may not have had the support you are giving to your family. And so the cycle goes on. But not for your child. What a brave girl!
It really helped that our police department used a Child Advocacy Center to conduct both the forensic interview and physical exam in 1 day in 1 place. Our daughter has only been interviewed once. Can they do this for your child? Counseling has also been great. Please go for yourself as well.
You have every right to be pissed. It's been 7 months for us since our daughter's disclosure and there are days that I could kill the pos with my bare hands. The only hope that I have is that my daughter's life is not defined by what happened to her. Not an option!
We are here and we understand.

I'm very sorry for what you are going through. You and your children will make it through all of this. Your daughter will not be damaged forever because she has a mother like you. You stopped it as soon as you found out. Believe it or not many mothers don't do anything when they find out that their child is being abused. Get some counseling for you and your daughter. You might even consider going to the doctor for some medication. I did. The anxiety and depression was too much to bare sometimes. You can count on us for support.

Thanks to both of you. I'm trying and yes, I will probably need to go get some sort of medication. I just want her to be ok. I'm so afraid that she won't be. I'm so upset that she was hurt and I couldn't help her. I just feel so so so sad. It's all I have just to get up and get dressed. I love my girls but I am so sad. This was my absolute biggest nightmare and he knew it!!!

I completely sympathize with your feelings of responsibility, even though I had no clue that my brother would do that to my daughter I was still the one that trusted him to come into my home and I trusted him to leave my daughter watching movies in the living room with him while I took a shower! I should have known! Or I should have done more or been more paranoid than I already Am! And believe me I am! I too was molested at 6 and it was so scary and life changing for me, my daughter was 5 when this happened and I really felt proud of myself up until that point because I felt that I had given her all the education she needed to protect herself and I thought that I had been the most protective person with her, but then my 13 year old brother came to visit and molested and possibly raped my child right under my nose! In my own house while I was here! It has been 5 months now and I will just find out this coming Monday if they plan to press charges! It has been the longest 5 months, I can tell you this as comfort though, I started my daughter into counseling right away and she is doing really well, she still talks about it all the time but she is strong in her convictions and says things like, I hope kacey didn't get any Christmas presents for Christmas because he doesn't deserve it, and I will agree with her and say to her. He doesn't deserve it so Santa didn't come to his house. But you deserve presents and you deserve everything good because you are good and brave and god is sooo proud of you just like mommy is proud of you! I feel your words so close to my heart when you want to feel the blame! I apologize to my girl all the time, when she talks about Kacey I tell her how sorry I was that I didn't know he was that kind of bad person and I tell her how sorry I was that I couldn't have been there to stop him from hurting her, then I tell her something that I find hard to recognize when we hate ourselves so much from being deceived like this but I tell her, mommy would have stopped or prevented this if I knew but I didn't know because kacey was lying to mommy too! He tricked me like he tricked you and he is the one responsible for his bad choices, not you and not me! If our child sees us take all responsibility for the abuse the they too might begin to feel responsible for something that they couldn't have prevented just like us! They are little sponges! I let my daughter and I get really negative about Kacey but we always end with the positive of, we are both good honest respectful people and god loves because we are brave beautiful girls! My daughter sometimes seems stronger than me, I fall to pieces a lot on my own when my daughter is at school, somedays I wish i wasn't here anymore like something peaceful and warm comes over me when I think of death! But I have to pull through And although I am in a place inside myself that hates life and hates disgusting perverted men who are everywhere I still have to be here and be a force of positivity for my child! Short of driving both of us off a cliff I have no way for us to avoid living, so I move forward and put one foot in front of the other, I try and focus on those little things that can give you a moment of pleasure to take you away from the constant pressure of feeling the world is a disgusting pointless place for me it is chocolate or a nice quite cuddle with my daughter during a movie or a really great song, anything to focus and say this right here for this very second is happy, d
It is like lifting weights, you start out small and exorcise the happy muscles while they are depressed and you will see that your happy muscles get stronger! And you will see you daughter get stronger too! She is going to blow your mind and make you proud I. The coming months And I know this because just like me you are a brave and beautiful mama and you are a shining light of hope for your daughter!!! Know that you did all that you could have done and I personally am very proud of you for believe inyour daughter and taking the right actions for protect her! You would be surprised at how many women choose the mans side! Sooo good job! And my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! God bless you!!!

Sorry for going on and on... I also wanted to say that 1 in 20 men are pedophiles! It is hard to find a good not disgusting man with those odds!!!

I'm sorry that you and your daughter are going through this. My only advice is to take it one second/minute/hour/day at a time. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll eventually get to a better place. It's been four years since I found out my husband had raped and sexually abused our four year-old daughter. It's been a difficult process, but with the help of counseling, my daughter is doing exceptionally well.

I've kept a blog that details our story and my journey as the mom of a sexually abused child and the spouse/partner of an offender. Message me if you'd like the link to read it. You're still so early into the process that it might be difficult to read, but perhaps someday you'd find it helpful.

Had her interview today and she disclosed far more details. I wanted to go directly to the jail n give him laced gum. I'm soooooo pissed!!!! I want this to go away!!!!!!! I've bn so stressed n feeling so out of control that I threw them n the car n we drove 3 hrs to the beach. We r here now n I'm just trying to smile b breathe.
Yesterday u felt sorry for him but today I want him dead!!!!!!!!!!!!

Correction... I'm just trying to smile n breathe and yesterday I felt sorry for him but today I want him dead!!!!!