Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Since I was last here, Ove been diagnosed with type 2 Bipolar disorder. It makes a lot of sense and the medication has helped immensely. I've also forgiven my rapist. Being a male victim of rape has its own set of trauma/problems, but it was a quote from Oprah that pushed me over the top: "Forgiveness is when you give up the hope that you can go back and change the past."
I really want to stick around and help others both on this site and IRL, but I figured I owed you an update.
That quote is amazing thank you for sharing.
Xx
At the Women's March, I carried a sign that said "Sexual Assault Creates Pre-Existing Conditions," in honor of our p-grabbing leader. Bipolar disorder is one of those conditions -- in the old days (like, only seven years ago), you would not have been able to get private insurance if you had a mental illness. Or if you had been raped. So I'm glad you're able to get treatment and meds.
I always wonder about sexual abuse when I hear that someone has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. There seems to be such a strong link, I suspect it may actually be an extension of PTSD. I'm really, really glad the meds are helping. Keep investigating every option for treatment of PTSD -- guided meditation, EMDR, yoga, etc. You deserve to reclaim every lost part of you.
I am SO glad that you have found the peace of forgiveness. Claiming that peace is right of all survivors! As the parent of a survivor, the Oprah quote makes less sense. I cannot forgive the man who stole my child -- the happy, creative light of my life -- and replaced her with the depressed, secretive, boundary-confused, (formerly) addicted young woman whose future as a functioning adult seems always just beyond her grasp. I sometimes think of it this way: he killed her. I suspect that I will never forgive him, and I really don't care if I never do. He's still free and able to hurt other children, and there's nothing I can do about it. He deserves nothing but my full antipathy. I never used to feel this way toward anyone, so I'm pretty sure that it's the deepest symptom of my own PTSD. EMDR has reduced the impact of my flashbacks -- I can see them, but not feel them as deeply, and I move on from them more quickly, without rage or tears.
My daughter is working to move on as well, but it's such a slow process. I try to focus on every step forward she takes and to keep my mouth shut about areas where she repeatedly backtracks. She is the one who is going to live her life. She is not ready for independence yet. I can accept that. But I will not forgive the man who has made her life so difficult.
I am glad to hear you area thriving warrior.
The forgiveness thing, I don't know if I will ever reach that point.
Love and hugs