No I didn't see it! But people who have never dealt with this are very uneducated about the whole thing! And all reality! They are extremely stupid lol

i did see dr. phil today.it was very saddening what happened to them. juliana i agree ....there seriously needs to be more education....on the subject.i am currently in a battle in the church i attend over the issue of allowing an sexual offender to join the church. i am fully opposed to this,for all of the obvious reasons.as an victim of sexual molest by an neighbor , folllowed by other sexual assaults by various individuals,but at least my parents did not molest me,and as an victim of emotional,physical ,mental abuse,as well as neglect by my own parents...i personally am disturbed by how it is trivialized ....and these people are not put away.....
even an law enforcement officer sexually assaulted me...this was as an adult, and it seems like i can do nothing about this....even though i have complained about this....and after research on this law enforcement agency,it seems they have had a very bad history of sexual assaults and abuses of all kinds.i do hope to find some kind non-judgemental people that are willing to listen...preferably women....hopefully be able to relate to some of the events that have happened to me. i am in my late 40s ....currently. i do not sleep well,if i get 2 hrs of off/on sleep,i am lucky. i have been diagnosed with severe form of ptsd.i do pray for those girls.....

I didn't see that but I was just recently verbally attacked because "you must have known." It's appalling.

Brokenchild: I was also a victim of sexual assault, and it is something that I have struggled with my whole life. I do not attend church reguarly, but I do have friends who are heavily involved in their faith and at church. I'm friends with a pastor and he has recently come up against the very same issue. The topic of sex offenders attending church stirs up a lot of emotion. However, I have taken the opposite approach. I believe, in the Christian faith, Jesus is for everybody. And if they really want to turn their lives around, they need a good support system. To oust them out of everything once they have served their time, is very dangerous for our children, in my opinion. Research has shown that sex offenders without a good support system are more likely to reoffend. Most sex offenders will come out of prison at some point. Just in my opinion, I believe the opposite should happen. A good support system needs to be built. And perhaps people who are struggling with the effects of abuse and assault are not the best ones to offer that support, but there are others that could. Just my opinion.

I saw the show, and I can't believe some of the comments villifying the mom for not knowing. She admitted that her husband revealed prior to marrying her that he had experimented once when he was 5 but never did anything again; that was supposed to be the big smoking gun that tipped her off??? I guess we're to assume every kid who grabs a magnifying glass and burns an ant when they are 7 will turn out to be an arsonist or a murderer. What our offender told us and what we saw evidence of was that he was active in his church, had gone thru a peer leadership program, was a hard worker, had a girlfriend, refused to drink or do drugs, was into continuing education, etc. What was the big tip off we missed???

Just some thoughts about the church: Our offender used his affiliation with the church to gain our trust. Jesus requires that you take up your cross and follow him, repent, sin no more. The Bible talks alot about discernment, if someone isn't interested in his message, we should leave them, shake their dust from our feet and never return. I agree we are to be supportive, loving and forgiving, but I'm just not sure how that's done for someone who hurts one of God's children in such a horrendous way...check out Matthew 18:6 that says it would be better for someone who hurts a child to have a millstone hung around his neck and be drowned. That seems so servere. I'm no theologian, but I think we need to make sure we are understanding how God intends for us to respond to these situations. We need to be wary of whose translation we are reading and what motives the interpreter may have.

We were actually asked to leave our church because a member/employee who was our friend was first a witness to our son's abuse who decided it was consensual and none of our business, then decided he'd like to get some action and became a 2nd offender. When we told our pastor, she became irate with us for ruining her ministry even though our request was that she find someone who would help us confront our friend and work with us and him to help him with his "problem" and to help restore our congregational relationship and possibly our friendship, but she totally flipped out and made it all about her, and told us we should find somewhere else to worship. Except for my brother in law's wedding a couple weeks ago, we haven't been back to church in well over a year.

Bandmom: I'm not a Christian. I used to be. But I do know the teachings fairly well. Jesus came for ALL sins. Not just the ones that aren't painful. This topic is why I left the church to begin with. I'm just voicing my opinion. There may be people that are truly repentive and want to go after the god they believe in with all their heart. And they should be allowed to do so. I'm not talking about forgiving between humans. First of all, I think people who readily forgive because they feel they have to haven't truly forgiven. I'm talking about forgiveness between a human being and God. I haven't quite decided if I believe, but if the story God and Jesus is realN then I am grateful that only God will be able to judge me and consider me worthy and forgiven.

As far as blaming mothers, we live in that kind of culture. It is maddening.

I live for the fact that i know GOD knows what my husband did to my daughters. I set my tv to record it. I will watch it when the kids are asleep. My husband tries to deny everything but even he(my husband) knows the truth, and the fact that he is trying to save his hide is not enough to erase the fact that he did what he did. Hopefully he dies a horrible painful death and gets raped in jail one day. I hope he gets hemorroids and hiv and cancer all the same time, and may he not ever get dimensia or alzheimers, that just would be fair, he needs to be reminded everyday what a sick PHuque he is and how he permanently damaged us. Child support spoke with me today adn they got a hit on his employer and they told me I had a real winner on my hands, I said no kidding, I worked two jobs the whole time we were married, that fricken loser. Sorry everyone. Bad day for me, if you didnt notice,

Ocean: I'm sorry you had a bad day. And I don't expect you to have feelings of forgiveness towards your child's abuser. I'm speaking in a more broad-scoped manner. And yes, you are correct, if there is a God, he/she does knows exactly what your husband did. And I believe he will have to answer for it one way or another.

I'm really sorry you have to work so much. I know what that feels like. My husband is currently in jail facing life in prison. I'm responsible for all of our joint debt. I'm crippled financially. What I really don't understand about the system is why they are not forced to work in there and send money home. Why am I doing this all by myself? He is staring at four white walls, useless.

So if child support got a "hit on his employer" does that mean you will soon be receiving garnishment? I've not ever had the pleasure of dealing with child support enforcement so I'm not sure what that means. I hope that means that financial help is soon on the way for you.

Well, i got child support for a couple of months not much, hes like over 7 grand behind. I make like just under 500 a month on my current job, because one of my kids is still not in kindergarten. He has been playing games with child support but they are suspending his drivers license, which barely means he gets a 150 days to pay up, while he drives on a temporary, so what is even the point to suspend it, i hope this means there is financial help on the way but i cant count on anything really, i live like there is nothing coming as i have since last july. If something turns up, i will be stoked. But at this point live with no expectations, If there isnt a GOD i do believe in Karma and i know things will come back to him.

Well, I really hope it works out for you. That has to be so hard to be going through this and have such young children. I have a job that pays pretty decent. The problem is that I don't have enough to really make it, but I make too much for any help. I also graduated college this year and was expecting to have two incomes. My student loans are due, and I just lost $40k per year. Huge hit. We live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes I'm afraid we won't be able to squeak by.I'm very angry about how the system handles this. I truly don't believe I should have to do all this financially on my own and be responsible for ten years of debt we accrued jointly. He should be working. Instead the fruit of his labor will be going to the department of corrections, not to me and his daughters. It infuriates me. Although I believe he needs to be punished, his debt and restitution belongs to our daughters and to me, not the state. Just the way I see things.

I definitely believe in Karma. Which is kind of why I'm struggling with trying to figure out what the hell I did. And I'm really hoping that putting out some positive energy will come back around to me. I keep hoping this lets up a bit. Some days it's all just too much. Keep your head up Ocean. It will get better. It just freaking has to.

I did not see the Dr. Phil (I find him rather insufferable.) and did not see the comments listed above, but I can say for experience that too many people are clueless when it comes to their reactions to alleged sexual abuse. When the perve in our "ordeal" was first arrested, the outpouring of support was unbelieveable, as were the online comments to any stories about the arrest. Why are people so fast to be so critical? We were publicly berated by people who really had no clue what had happened. In general, when it comes to the kinds of stories that we've all lived through, the people who talk the most typically know the least and the people who know the most don't talk. That leaves all of these judgmental people to make their assumptions based on very few real facts, but it doesn't stop them from beating their chests and putting their opinions out there.

My cheap advice is to try to forget the idiots who speak on what they really don't know. The positive thing is that with all of the stories of sexual abuse that have come up recently, more and more people are starting to get it. I'm sorry for all of those who have suffered, but I hope that we as a society gain something from their stories and their pain and that we fight harder to stop future abuse.

I think there is a lack of education on this extremely topic and I wonder what we can do to make people more aware.

* * * On this extremely common topic * * * *