The good news is that even though they were abused they are successful. Abuse doesn't mean the end of a child's life.

she is successful but, she has had her share with drugs which scares the sh** out of me!

So true our children can recover and be successful. Unfortunately it is a long hard road for some. I bet the drug abuse came more from her father not believing her or doing anything about it, he is to this day still friends with the abuser. Hopefully she will stay stober now that she is being open about it and healing.
I pray for all of our children and us!!!
This group is the best. I told a friend that is going through her daughter disclosing to come check us out, hopefully she does. You can't go through this alone.

I am glad to see it. People just tend to brush it under the rug. As far as Juliana22703.... What do you mean by your comment? My daughter has an issue with past drug history. Even before her father sexually abused her. It doesn't mean she deserved it. And my ex, her father used it to his advantage to abuse her. He had her drinking and doing drugs every morning and every day. I really wish you would explain what you mean???

Busby, I think she's referring to the statistics - that a VERY large percentage of children who were abused, later turn to drugs or promiscuity to cope. Abused children also have a much higher rate of suicide. THAT is what scares me about this situation. No one. . . child or adult. . . deserves to be raped or abused even if drugs or alcohol ARE present. Abusers use it as a tool, and many victims find themselves using it as a crutch.

I'm glad to see those in the spotlight come forward and show our children that it IS okay to tell and that you do NOT have to let it hold you back from your dreams of being successful.

I'm with Busby1, I would like to know what Juliana22703 meant concerning her reply. My son used drugs through the years to numb the pain. He was sexual abuse when he was 12. Who knows if he would have used drugs if this didn't happen to him. Also would he have tried to commit suicide so many times? I have 3 other children and none of them abused drugs or alcohol. We must be careful not to Judge. Alot of children turn to drugs because it is to painful to live with. Could the sexual abuse be the cause of Tatum O'neil drug use? It's sad when the victims of sexual abuse are victimized twice. By the abuser and their peers.

I think she is scared and worried about her child doing drugs because of the abuse. The good news is when you deal with it, get them help and it's not swept under the rug...they can find other ways to cope. My daughter abused drugs b/c she dealt all alone and stuffed in down by staying high and drunk.
Too much suffering b/c of these sick bastards!!!

I honestly didn't mean anything hurtful by it. I meant that even though she was successful she still dabbled with drugs and alcohol and that is my biggest fear for my daughter for when she gets to an age where she realizes how messed up this all is! I would never judge anyone or anyones kids for turning to drugs. I actually have a young cousin who has battled with heroin addiction and it is so awful to watch. Nothing horrible has even happened in his life and he still turns to it. He comes from a great family and it is just sad! Im sorry if any of you were offended by my comment. I didn't mean anything negative to your children! Im just worried about mine. Sorry once again

It's ok Juliana some just took it wrong. I knew what you meant. Drugs are scarey and horrible and you should be worried and on the look out. It numbs their pain, or so they think. My daughter tried every drug under the sun and it was when she had to be sober for 6 months, because she was locked up, that she dealt with the abuse and started remembering things.

Keep an open dialogue with your daughter about drugs and alcohol. It's hard once they get addicted. The good thing is your know early and you can help her deal with all of this. You believe her and support her. Check out girlthrive.com and read all the stories. Sad how many mother's do not support their chidren. It makes a huge difference in their healing.

Sorry about your cousin. Will say a prayer for him. I hope he wasn't abused and living with the secret. Hopefully he will get off of it.

Don't feel bad. Say what you feel on here. That's what it's for.
Big hugs.

Thank you momma

I didn't realize my comment to you would cause you hurt and so many people to come to your rescue. I am so sorry. I just didn't understand what you were trying to say, that is why I asked you .(I won't do that again, maybe I just need a brake from the website.) It hurt because I have lived with others judging my son because of his drug use, but in reality he was suffering with his secret. My son is older then most children on this site. He's 25 (he's my baby) and he told us what happened to him the beginning of May 2011 after 13 years of keeping silent, and years of drug abuse, drug arrests and suicide attempts (his last suicide attempt was June 5,2011, so I'm still in pain). You have to understand I am extremely sensitive about the drug abuse thing, because I believe more then not, if he wasn't sexually abused when he was little, he would have never turned to drugs. I thought for years my son was just a drug addict , and I almost gave up on him. If he didn't come forward with the truth back in May, this would have been his last chance and I would have given up on him forever. (I was shocked and never thought in a million years he was sexually abused, and I would have swore up and down that nothing ever happened to him )Some choose to use drugs, but I am 100% sure they don't enjoy it, others use to kill the pain, and some, I believe, it could be hereditary like alcoholism. Sometimes it takes years to find out why people turn to drugs.They don't all fall into one category. There is a victim in the program my son attends at Princeton House who is 60 years old and finally is facing the sexually abuse that haunted him for most all of his life. So we never really know why children turn to drugs. I do know my son loves his family, as we do him, and now I realize that he would never have put his family thought these past 13 years of hell because he was selfish and enjoyed using drugs. He hated the pain he caused his family every time he was arrested, and sat in a police cell for hours , every rehab he entered, and now is very ashamed of the scars he has on his wrists from the suicide attempts. But I do admit I did believe as you do at one time, and I have learned not to lump all drug abusers together, there has to be a reason why a person abuses drugs.
Your daughter is young and getting help. Her chances of turning to drugs are slim to none. Just keep an eye on her and if though the years you do see a change in her, immediately get her help. I find drug abuse more prevalent in those who keep sexual abuse a secret and suffer in silence, and not receive any help. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone with your reply but please don't give up on your cousin, you might find out he was trumatized in one way or another, and his drug abuse is a cry for help.
Good luck to you and your family, also thank you for letting me know you meant well.

I feel that celebrities can afford to get the help that they need.
People seem more interested in celebrities also.
I am not. Sorry
It is good that it shows that you can be successful still after abuse. I think we are already successful in making it thoriugh life so far.

Deb don't take a break from website. We need you.
I totally relate to what your are going through with your son. I did at one time give up on my daughter and tried the tough love, get out...drug addict etc... Thank God she finally disclosed and we understand why she used drugs for all the years.
Most on here have younger children than us and they fear the drugs as a side effect. We both know we don't wish that on any parent or child. The good thing is if they are on here and already know, they can get the right help for their kids.
My daughter is getting better one day at a time. Disclosure after 18 years of shame and guilt is the best thing that has happened to her since the pervert took her innoncense away.
Your son has been on my mind. I hope and pray that his group helps me heal.
Hugs.