Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
It's been nearly 6 years since my youngest son disclosed being fondled through clothing by his uncle. To make a long story short it happened numerous times during a game of "I'll tickle you until you pee in your pants" overtime the abuser became more bold. We were very lucky in the fact that my son told us during the early stages of grooming and we were able to put a stop to it. On the other hand there were a lot of gray areas and the abuse was considered very mild and the legal system didn't follow through very far in the investigation. We cut all ties with the abuser and lost many extended family members as a result.
After years of roller coaster emotions and what I thought was real progress in healing I'm starting to wonder if my oldest was molested by this monster. Off and on for years now he has been caught looking at inappropriate websites. Most recently it has escalated to the point that he's soliciting multiple partners online. I've had him in therapy, but he says all the right things during counseling and makes his dad and I look paranoid then agrees to abide by the house rules only to follow them just long enough to start gaining our trust again. I should ad that he was 12 when his younger brother was molested by their uncle and is now 18. He has convinced the therapist that he initially started looking this stuff up because he was trying to understand why his uncle would do this to his brother. Now it seems compulsive... Of course the question has come up as to whether or not his uncle molested him. He has told us and his therapist "No, I was never molested I think I would remember if that happened to me." His therapist believes him and I would really like to, but at home he tells me, "you know if I don't want to talk or open up about something I'm not going to".
I just can't help but think something was overlooked years ago and I'm worried it's too late to get my oldest son the help he needs. Has anyone experienced anything like this and had successful results in handling it?
I just want all my children in a healthy place and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
After years of roller coaster emotions and what I thought was real progress in healing I'm starting to wonder if my oldest was molested by this monster. Off and on for years now he has been caught looking at inappropriate websites. Most recently it has escalated to the point that he's soliciting multiple partners online. I've had him in therapy, but he says all the right things during counseling and makes his dad and I look paranoid then agrees to abide by the house rules only to follow them just long enough to start gaining our trust again. I should ad that he was 12 when his younger brother was molested by their uncle and is now 18. He has convinced the therapist that he initially started looking this stuff up because he was trying to understand why his uncle would do this to his brother. Now it seems compulsive... Of course the question has come up as to whether or not his uncle molested him. He has told us and his therapist "No, I was never molested I think I would remember if that happened to me." His therapist believes him and I would really like to, but at home he tells me, "you know if I don't want to talk or open up about something I'm not going to".
I just can't help but think something was overlooked years ago and I'm worried it's too late to get my oldest son the help he needs. Has anyone experienced anything like this and had successful results in handling it?
I just want all my children in a healthy place and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
Let No Stone Be Unturned.
That's a set up for failure right there.
To say if it happened, he really is choosing not to disclose is another thing.
I can totally understand if an 18 year old boy would chose never to disclose abuse from another male.
I don't know what to say for advice if he's not willing to open up tho.
Sounds like another CSA nightmare and it's consequences to me :-(
Best of wishes including peace and healing for u all.
Praying for you and your family.
www.malesurvivor.org
Maybe your older son can do some research on that site, and you can also find referrals there for therapists with expertise in male survivors. Most therapists have not been trained in this specialty.
Wishing you peace, Janice