Congratulations, WarriorMom! I am so glad for you and for your kids that you have found appropriate therapists for them! It is great and reassuring for parents to know we are on the way of doing something really useful and helpful for our angels. I am having a great experience with the EMDR and play therapy for by two boys, now aged 5 and 4. Good luck!

Good work!

Congrats

So, my 12 year old is actually going to see the therapist we met with last night...he didn't feel comfortable taking on a little guy. But on the positive, he has numerous special needs patients that have aspergers and after explaining my son's situation he believes that he is close enough to treat with this diagnosis in mind. Now, my son was tested and fell 1 point off the spectrum so to hear his therapist care this way makes me feel happy. He also said that sometimes OCD is actually a symptom of aspergers so he'll be watching that tendency. It was really emotional to "go on trial" again with someone who doesn't know how hard we've worked over the past 10 months! To review all the sexual abuse dynamics also. And even to have our marriage questioned! I HAVE this stupid process that parents are guilty until they prove themselves innocent! How transparent, advocating and hard-working do we have to be for this world of social workers to see the reality of our situation?! Either we talk too much with our children or we must have been neglectful for things to happen or we should sleep apart to protect them (news flash, haven't slept together in 2 months!) Or we need to be more financially stable...now this dr. didn't ultimately sway this way fully it was more how he asked questions that bugged me. My husband reminded me that it's his job and I get it but I'm just tired of being on trial and never getting justice. I keep thinking about the monster family and how they just lied their way out of having to deal with this type of stuff...we have to catch them to get them to feel this type of humiliation and daily scrutiny of familial morals.

Anyone who knows us, knows that our safety plan is the best out there! My children are NOT predators! My children may be acting out BECAUSE of how horribly they were abused by this evil monster boy but any sexual manifestations are temporary and we can handle it fine!

On a really positive note, we don't have to pay him at all because our VOC coverage was approved so our appt. Was free last night. And my kids were all really good for my babysitting friend! So good. So relieved. On to the next thing on the list...

I'm sorry you've had to take another mud bath just to receive help for your son. I understand that the therapist needs as clear a picture as he can get of what happened, but it would be so difficult to have to defend yourself in an effort to get help for your son. I hope this therapist's services will bring exactly the healing results you're hoping for. I'm so glad his specialty is special needs, and that he was willing to err on the side of caution. Good signs that you've found a good therapist.

Warrior, I can echo every word you have said about the criminal process we are going through: WE, the parents, the secondary victims of our kids abuse, have suffered (and still are) a daily scrutiny of familial morals by both the defense attorneys and the CPS… the defense attorneys (three, by the way, who are also defending national secretaries and ministries in our country, so imagine how good and well paid they are) even hired detectives to scrutiny my marriage, my way of life, to talk to my neighbors, to disclose our situation in my kids school, exposing my children s privacy, in the search of a single teacher complaining about us… horrible, indeed. The good news are, this ended by backfiring on my in laws, the perpetrators, because the witnesses all supported us, praised us as parents, and even called me, systematically, a super mom.

3musqueteer,
I never thought it would be so painful to GET help for my family! I thought it would be healing and therapeutic but realistically, it's just another battle in our quest for freedom from this mess! I don't know if you feel this way but I don't really trust therapists. I feel like they're backstabbers lurking in the shadows trying to find the weak spot to tear my family apart more. I'm just trying to ride out the wave of the need for therapy so we can get our privacy back rather than be concerned that every Monday we could get another call from CPS because of a new disclosure. So much is misinterpreted. So many of our personal choices scrutinized. I truly feel like a soldier...I have to always be on the alert, never let my guard down, make every action strategic and hold off on emotional break downs as much as possible! *sigh*

I did have one counselor the first for my daughter where I did feel I was attached for my reactions and how I was handling the kids although I know I was doing all that I could at the time.

Eventually I changed therapist and went with a more low income program place that worked with state insurance and I received the most care and help. A few times I had to push for what I wanted but they responded by doing it and for that I am thankful. I don't expect t to always see eye to eye but having the respect as a mom who knows her child like no one else and to take my concerns seriously.

The first therapist was renowned for her play therapy and took the Vic comp from out of state. I thought She was my answer to prayer and she had every qualification I desired. I had so much hope in her and it just didn't work. This was hard to go through and accept. I did feel like how could this go against us also after everything we've been through. I would tell anyone now that if you don't feel supported you have the wrong counselor. You do have to give it some time but I knew and stayed much longer than I should have only because I believed despite her feelings about me and my own gut that she isn't helping, that her qualifications and skills would surely net results. I had a poor attitude about state run places and low income but they actually helped more. One red flag was the first counselor did not set goals or communicate with me at all what was happening in sessions. I had no idea how to handle what was happening at home and received little help when I brought it up and in the end she used my concerns for at home as a way to say I was crazy and obssessed. Honestly I think that was her way of putting it on me her inability to help. So basically making it seem it was just my own issue not the obvious problem of the abuse and helping my daughter.

I'm so sorry...that sounds frustrating.

I have met sone good therapists, who literally saved our lives, and also some horrible ones who, really, I wish will burn in Hell for having chosen a profession that they are so unfit for. One of them, hired by the criminal court to evaluate both victims and suspects, even questioned me for deciding to have three kids (he considered that three is too many, and she was a singleton with no children at all!), she asked if my pregnancies had been planned or not (I hold a post PhD and had my kids in my late thirties and forties, I am no teen at all!), she wanted to know if I quarreled often with my husband… she seemed to be working for my in laws instead of being neutral. When the criminal process is over, and if I still have the strength, I swore to myself i will explore the possibilities of suing that women in the civil area for moral damage.