Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
So my husband has left for deployment. He told me before he left that he didn't want to come back unless our daughter has to take the stand. Well I understand where he is coming from. Having to fly back from over there, leave his guys behind, go through all the paperwork, go to trial and then flying back over there all in a short amount of time so I totally get it. But I dont want to do this alone. I dont know how to tell him that. It makes me feel selfish for wanting him to come back. I dont want to stress him out over it because i am a big girl that just needs to pull her panties up and move along. It just sucks. I feel like God has deployed my husband because He knows how much I rely on my husband. He wants me to rely on him. I just need to pray and rely on God more but it is getting there that is scarey. I also dont know what i should tell my husband and what i shouldnt tell him. again i dont want to stress him out with the small stuff and him not be able to fix it (when he is feeling bad about it like he failed the kids by not protecting them he plays with them and spends time with them well he cant do that now). I want my husband in the loop and to be involved and so does he but I want to protect him but then again if i protect him and dont tell him then i feel guilty like i am lying to him or something. I know it was our turn to go through a deployment but man why now... this blows!
My sister also never wants to talk about whats going on anymore. (he daughter is the one who got the whole ball rolling by coming forward). I get it she is trying to move on with life and put this all behind them until they have to deal with it again (her daughter is in counseling and everything they just dont want to dwell on it) i totally get it i dont want to either but i dont know how not to. i just want to talk about it with her. But again i dont want to stress her out...
Also with my family being spread out and living in different areas and it happening to multiple kids in multiple locations we are dealing with three different juricdictions. 2 in ohio and 1 in tn. Well we are at the plea or trial setting stage in the first court process. Then i guess he is going to where my brother in law and sister live to go through the court process there and then he will be heading down here...... why cant they just all do it at once. i am so tired of the unknown and waiting........... just through his bohinnie in jail for life. he confessed to everything why go through the process....
Sorry for the complaining i am just in the begining of deployment funk where nothing good could happen and I just want to find a hole and hide for a few days. I want my husband back....
Also, don't know if you're on a base, but are there support groups for wives/spouses of deployed servicemen around you? Here's a link to an online support forum, but if there was a physical one near you, it may be worthwhile to check out. My niece in CA is on a base and finds some great support in a group there: http://www.militarysos.com/forum/deployment-support-groups/ .
Hope this helps, I can't imagine going through all this alone. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Hang in there. You are strong and CAN get through this! I too have to be careful in how much I share with my husband because he has blood pressure problems and health issues that get worse with stress. Come here often and vent it out! Also, make sure you have your own therapist, if you can. And keep praying and looking to God to help you carry through. I love the verse that says "through our weaknesses, He is made strong." (Can't remember the reference.) Hold fast to your faith and remember Proverbs 3:5.
I have heard of BACA and actually contacted them and had a meeting set up but my husband decided that enough people knew already and we have the support we need. I completely understand and agree with him. We dont want to use the services they offer when someone may need to take the stand for sure. idk...
i may come here and vent yall are amazing!