Today, I am humbled.

Yesterday, like most days, I struggled though because yet again, the ugly monster of loneiness & abandonment reared its ugly head and clearly showed me my lack of a supportive team.  This was harder than normal because I thought I had fully worked through this issue with EMDR and accepted that I just will never have a mom or dad (or possibly good friend) that I can lean on and that God was enough for me!  So I felt discouraged becaue this issue had popped up again AND I still struggled with this issue.  Then I went to therapy.

Last time, I had shared I was trying to wrap up all my purging so that I could quit therapy.  But last night my husband urged me to continue because he felt I still "was broken" & not "healed & finally a whole person" like I felt.  So I shared this with my therapist.  Then she shared something that changed my view on therapy...

I am currently a pro bono patient.

Yes, she has been seeing me for free for a while...BECAUSE...she says she knows I need someone in my corner and she wants to see me get better.  God gave me what felt like a little "hug" from heaven with this information coming out!  I am NOT ALONE and someone DOES care for me!  This pushes me to try to be more thankful for what I am doing in therapy.  And we came up with an encouraging challenge for my hubby.. because ultimately, he SHOULD be my person to lean on but he's still got too much anxiety, SO, I asked him to keep seeing our pastor and I'll keep seeing my therapist that way ultimately, WE are healed together and can move forward in a healthy place!

Even if you don't know it, God is looking out for you in your own life...don't let the circumstances hold you down!  Live and find the joy in the current new "normal."  It is there and if you focus on it more, you will do SO much better on your journey to heal your broken heart.  You are not alone...we are all here for your to lean on, at least every way but physically!  ;)