Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Every time I feel like I take one step forward as a family we get kicked to the bottom of a grave and spit on! Since the last huge fight we had with my parents we cut all contact, we demanded to be left alone. Low and behold the last few weeks they have stayed on their side of the property and let us be. There has been no contact. The down side of the situation since the blow out my child has started to really show signs of the abuse. I am not sure if that is because of age, counseling, or just a combination of just finally understanding what all has happen. She is 4 it tears my heart into a million pieces to see the little girls she was, is no longer there.
My child is scared to go to school, she cries in corners, she hides from "mean grandma", fears bedtime, fears people, and never wants to leave the home. I just want to fix it all and there is nothing I or her father can do but comfort her and reassure her! I want to take out so much anger on all these people who are being so damn selfish and self centered and don't want to do what is best for my child. I want to do unimaginable things to my so called nephew who hurt my child.... Does this anger ever subside.
My parents sent us a text out of the blue yesterday asking "We want to give ** a gift for Halloween, what time can that be"
I responded "Due to the events that have taken place we have requested there be no contact with Mrs** with our family at this time, if you personally want to give my child a gift we will meet at a disclosed location.
Their response: Unacceptable we are entitled to grandparents rights, regardless if you have an issue with your mom, you do not need to be present
We responded: We have been very well advised we have every right to do what is in the best interest of our children at this time.
They then texted my husband: I suggest you get some common since in to your wife
He reply: My wife and I agree completely
HERE IS THE KICKER I CANNOT BELIEVE AND I DO BELIEVE IS ILLEGAL
Well if that is the way you want to treat us after all we have done for you, you can get the hell off my property and I expect you to pay the $8196 I lent you 10 years ago. You will receive an eviction notice tomorrow. You embarrass me. We have had enough with your ridicules behavior, You are setting a horrible example for your children
I am so sicken by all of this, I am doing what is in the best interest of my baby! These people will debate rape in front of us, they allow the family of the perp to drive in our community driveway and scare the shit out of their grand daughter thinking he is here. She has yelled at us with my daughter in hand "its time to let it go" We are the only reason she remembers not the perp" My daughter has to heal they can not be trusted around her and are a constant threat by their actions. She deserves peace. She sees them and runs to hide, why should I subject her to that because they claim "grandparents rights" She fears them because of their yelling! Do I have the right to deny them access for the safety of her emotional healing. She can not sort out what happen and this at the same time! I am so emotionally lost. This is too much to handle I am so sick. Why can't these people let her be until she is ready to deal with the world and everyone else. Now I have to add eviction and them threating suing for grandparents rights. I swear I would become a parent in hiding before they touched my child, They have done nothing but support and justify everything the prep did. I am sorry for the long vent I had to get this out somewhere. It been a long night of no sleep and I couldn't take it anymore I needed a 3rd party.
And by the way the house we are building should be done in the middle of January so their 60 eviction will be close, just shy of maybe 3 weeks.... Keeping fingers crossed for December
My child is scared to go to school, she cries in corners, she hides from "mean grandma", fears bedtime, fears people, and never wants to leave the home. I just want to fix it all and there is nothing I or her father can do but comfort her and reassure her! I want to take out so much anger on all these people who are being so damn selfish and self centered and don't want to do what is best for my child. I want to do unimaginable things to my so called nephew who hurt my child.... Does this anger ever subside.
My parents sent us a text out of the blue yesterday asking "We want to give ** a gift for Halloween, what time can that be"
I responded "Due to the events that have taken place we have requested there be no contact with Mrs** with our family at this time, if you personally want to give my child a gift we will meet at a disclosed location.
Their response: Unacceptable we are entitled to grandparents rights, regardless if you have an issue with your mom, you do not need to be present
We responded: We have been very well advised we have every right to do what is in the best interest of our children at this time.
They then texted my husband: I suggest you get some common since in to your wife
He reply: My wife and I agree completely
HERE IS THE KICKER I CANNOT BELIEVE AND I DO BELIEVE IS ILLEGAL
Well if that is the way you want to treat us after all we have done for you, you can get the hell off my property and I expect you to pay the $8196 I lent you 10 years ago. You will receive an eviction notice tomorrow. You embarrass me. We have had enough with your ridicules behavior, You are setting a horrible example for your children
I am so sicken by all of this, I am doing what is in the best interest of my baby! These people will debate rape in front of us, they allow the family of the perp to drive in our community driveway and scare the shit out of their grand daughter thinking he is here. She has yelled at us with my daughter in hand "its time to let it go" We are the only reason she remembers not the perp" My daughter has to heal they can not be trusted around her and are a constant threat by their actions. She deserves peace. She sees them and runs to hide, why should I subject her to that because they claim "grandparents rights" She fears them because of their yelling! Do I have the right to deny them access for the safety of her emotional healing. She can not sort out what happen and this at the same time! I am so emotionally lost. This is too much to handle I am so sick. Why can't these people let her be until she is ready to deal with the world and everyone else. Now I have to add eviction and them threating suing for grandparents rights. I swear I would become a parent in hiding before they touched my child, They have done nothing but support and justify everything the prep did. I am sorry for the long vent I had to get this out somewhere. It been a long night of no sleep and I couldn't take it anymore I needed a 3rd party.
And by the way the house we are building should be done in the middle of January so their 60 eviction will be close, just shy of maybe 3 weeks.... Keeping fingers crossed for December
I am fighting! We have took steps, We cleared our items off the farm, we have cut contact. We just have no place to go. We are not able to create any debt since we are in a pending loan. No one has room for 6 people and to be honest I have not asked. I would never bring this chaos to another family I know they will harass us there. My baby is in enough distress I can't imaging uprooting her. All of this eviction and texting she is unaware of, she is safe from the discord.
Your supportive comments help so much, I read these and cry. I know I am doing what is best for all of us. I wish they would see the only priority is my children. You all have helped me several times. I wish I was able to give the advise you all give. Hopefully when I get through this, I will be as strong as you all are :) thank you a million times over.
Evictions also take time. In my day job I deal a little in tenant-landlord laws (Wisconsin-based). The only entity here in WI that can evict someone is a judge. Your parents can't just toss you on your ear, especially without just cause (ie police called to the property, non-payment of rent). Contact your state lawyers bar association and get a consultation with a landlord-tenant attorney. Consultations are usually low cost..... If you are lower income, you might be able to get free help from Legal Aid.
I hate that you are going through this. It sounds horrendous. Prayers to you and your family.
I completely understand your impulse to be your grandchildren's caregiver -- you're a "great" and loving grandma. I hope this will allow you to remember just how hard you worked to be the perfect mom to your children, and I hope this will help you to forgive yourself for what you couldn't control in your own children's lives, to see that you were and are good enough. I'm not always the best example of self-forgiveness, but none of us knowingly invited hell into our lives. Many hugs.