Fall apart here all you need!! I've been through moments in the past year when all I could do was fall to my (unbelieving) knees and pray, hoping that someone might be out there to listen. I have been rewarded with a sense that someone IS out there listening. We need to sell our house, too, but have to put it off for a couple of months. If I had had no choice but to sell now, I would have been where you are now. My heart goes out to you!!!!!

You need to run yourself a nice bath when Noone is home, put on some music and let yourself go. Cry, scream, slam your fists into the water. Take as long as you need. And when your done and you feel exhausted like you just have nothing left. No tears to cry, no water to slam your fists in, STAND UP. Take a breathe and feel yourself climb out of rock bottom. The only way to go is up now hun. Realizing you have hit bottom could be the beginning to moving on. You have it still. It's lost and it's time to get it back and take control. Don't be a victim. Be a survivor. We can't let them win. So go ahead, hit rock bottom. It's okay. But when your done be revived and reach for a brighter tomorrow. Hugz

Love that answer, 4rkids!

Yep
I second 4rkids :-)
It's exactly how things have transpired for me.
You fall to the ugly bottom, depths you haven't ever known before - and pretty fast (at least for me) you realize it's a place where you don't want to be anymore and you get pretty sick and tired of being there. Soon you find yourself saying to Heck w being in this awful way anymore and that's what gives you the strength to pull yourself above water again.
It really is taking a lot of effort and it's very exhausting to fall.
So soon you may realize it takes less effort to stay on top.
You will see.
And I hope you see soon :-)

Yes, I have been there, unfortunately. I came here because I knew people here understood better than anyone else. The only good thing about hitting bottom is that there is no where to go but up. This group was the ladder up out of that hell hole. But I had to be willing to get on the ladder and begin the climb back up. That is really the only thing that you can do right now. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. It is a choice that only you can make and while you are climbing out you will have us. You are strong enough! You can do this, I know it!!
A big hug, Laura

The verse that came to me for you was "come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest". What is God asking you to do right now? Maybe it is rest. There is a point where we end and God begins. Recognizing we are at our limits is good recognizing God can exceed those limits brings hope. If we spend all out energy trying to do God stuff we fall apart and become hopeless. There is a saying that goes let go and let God. Any know it. I've been there more than once the first time was the worst but I know what didn't help and what did.

Hi all

Thanks for reaching out. Lots of great advice here. I will take that bath and splash and scream and sob. Have been sobbing but am really stuffing a lot of emotion down as I'm trying not to fall apart in front of my kids. Thanks for that verse heartsadx3. I really struggle to let go and let God. I have an incessant need to be in control and the way things are right now is freaking me out big time. This is the biggest leap of faith I think I've ever had to do. Our house gets put on the market today and we don't have anything at the other end. My husband and father built this house almost 30 years ago. It's where our kids were born. It's where our kids were educated. It's also where our lives have been shattered. Our economy has just taken a big blow with the toughest national budget in decades, so not a good time "in the natural" to be selling.

I fluctuate between resting in God and taking it all back. I keep getting told to be strong, but I want permission to fall apart and deal with my own hurts. I don't want to have to be the adult right now and hold it together. I rang my counsellor last night which helped a bit. It got me out of the space I was in so I could rejoin the family. She suggested I journal all the positives that have come out of this journey so far, look at all the challenges I have overcome, look at my strengths. I was crying as she rattled off all the hurdles I have overcome, but I just wanted to scream at her and say that this is different and life isn't fair and right now it sucks big time.

I'm trying to enjoy the little things in life like our budgie sitting on the window sill tapping the mirrors that hang there and the native birds that sing to me every day for their food. It's a beautiful day so I'm thinking of going somewhere to enjoy the sunshine and do some bird watching. Have a friend coming over tomorrow and she will probably offer to help get our house ready for the open day but I'd rather get out and do something fun.

Appreciate you all. Hugs and blessings.

Nature is a healer, a place where you can just BE. Rather than being the grownup, in nature you can be a kid again, full of awe. I hope the birdies brought you a lot of joy and peace today. They help me a lot!

Yes, just love nature. Very serene. Would love to be by the beach right now. I could do a day trip on the spur of the moment! Noticed some yellow-tailed black cockatoos screeching yesterday. The king parrots will move in for feeding next month or so, and the eastern rosellas. I think we have at least 20 species of bird that frequent our garden. Might go into the Botanic Gardens and just walk around there.

Next year for school I want to do a bird journal with my kids to see how many we can identify. Lots of birds here too :) on saturday we are getting to go birding with a group. Peace. Dont be discouraged grace bridges the gap where we fall short in our faith. As Paul says where sin appears grace abounds all the more.

Enjoy heartsadx3. Birding is such fun. I organised a bird watching tour once for our local home education group and because it was pouring with rain I didn't go but everyone else did. Turned up late and felt bad because I'd organised it. So much you can learn with nature. What sort of birds do you have where you live? We are so blessed here in Australia and I think have some of the most colourful birds in the world.

Lots of good advice above. It seems to me that you also have a lot on your plate right now.. Take one step at a time. Every day ask yourself, "What can I do today?" What can't be done, just let it go. Put it in God's hands that it will be ok. You'll get through this.

Ozmum, my heart truly goes out to you, and I'm sending out prayers for you that you can allow yourself to give all the pain and anger and hurt and frustration to your Father in Heaven; I pray He assists you to let it all come to the surface and let it come out, but to let it all stay with Him so He will address it. I pray you can feel a release, and a resolve from doing this, and that you can feel an inner determination to survive and thrive, and to let the small joys He has put in your life be realized and accepted, and that they can be an inspiration and a catalyst to rise above all you are having to endure. Amen...

We just moved here so I don't know but a few right now but we are in a warmer region so I suspect we will get migrating birds from other areas also. There seems to be much more variety than back home and more pretty. Our zoo here also has some fabulous and amazing birds I have never seen they are huge! We even have Ostrich and a Road Runner. I'm excited to see what we find during the birding outing on Saturday. We have wonderful nature sanctuaries here with lots of wildlife. I feel very blessed in this regard.

Fell down the stairs this morning. Off to hospital as I'm sure I have dislocated and possibly broken my right hand. Thumb is not where it should be. Keep you posted.