Hi minarets. I am sending you a virtual hugs. Please, try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are a strong woman and a great mother. The support you have given your family and the support and words you have spoken on here, show me how Truely strong you really are. Go into your day today knowing this, try to hold your head high, because this feeling too will pass. Even last night when you posted on my words, just knowing I wasn't alone helped me through the night. You are an incredible woman. Are you talking to anyone at all? Even just a good friend for support? I will keep you in my prayers and send you strength.
Tammy

I meant hi Mina, darn auto correct.

Hi Mina, I totally know how you feel, and you have every right to feel like that!!! This stuff is completely devistating!!! And some days I feel so very sad!!! Do not beat yourself up
For this sadness!!! Allow yourself to feel it, knowing that you have every right to be sad because something sad happened to you!!! You are a beautiful strong soul with a big heart, and i know that you will survive this feeling of sadness and you will survive this horrible sad nightmare, I know this because you are a mother!!! Just like the rest of us heros here on this site and we are all
Here because the most important thing in our world is being there for our kids, so they can heal and grow and go on to thrive in their adult lives!! I am so proud of you and your strength and ability to handle all that god has put in your path!!! I will certainly be praying for you and your family!!! God bless you!!!

Prayers coming your way. Hang in there. There are some days when we just have to breathe.

Mina, your sadness is normal, and it will pass, perhaps temporarily, but it will pass. Hang on. But I think I get how you feel. These days,I feel as if I'm on a raft during a hurricane. Sometimes I feel as if I'm whirling around on the edge of the storm, and I'm about to be hurled into the rocks -- I'm panicky, nauseated, crying, furiously wishing I could go back to the place I started. Then, something subtle or dramatic changes for the better (such as: I get a full night's sleep, or I'm able to concentrate on something other than the abuse for awhile) and I find myself back in the eye of the storm, where the seas are more stable. Even there, the water level is elevated and surreal, and I'm aware of the storm that's all around me. So, even when I'm in a "quiet" place, I'm in a kind of prison of pain -- closed in by the dangerous edges of the storm that seem to define my entire life now and in retrospect.

Other members assure me this gets better. But please know that you're not alone in your emotional fragility, and that we support you.

Mina, You are not alone. We have all felt indescribable sadness and despair. I went through some extremely drak moments I thought I would never get through. You will get through this! Sometimes everything seems impossible and we have no choice but to trust God. I am here for you any time.

Think of yourself as a warrior. Warriors must put down their swords and shields at times to feel the loss that this battle has taken. You are not alone and you will get your strength back again. It is good that you reached out to us. We understand your pain better than anyone and you are strong enough, my friend and you will survive. Grief is a huge part of the process. Allow us to support you. Laura

Mina, words alone cannot help you through this crisis. We try hard to give you comfort and let you know that we have been there and are continually processing all the same emotions you are going through as well. I can only send you words of love and assure you if you keep writing it will help you. I am not sure why that is because it seems for me it is not about letting go, but rather about realizing how common this whole disgusting act is pushed under a rug by society. My hope is that somehow we can come out of the shadows and be stronger and help others but i am not sure that is realisitic anymore as the pain is so deep. Knowing that there are others out there in pain and need support is very helpful to me. I do not feel so isolated and realize that my feelings are the same as yours and every parents nightmare. You will have some very very sad days, and then some very very angry days and then days of absolute loss and confusion....it will pass slowly as you will find some why to compensate. For me I immersed myself into the case and continued to bug the DA, the childrens advocate and reach out to find an attorney to file a civil suit. That was almost 3 years ago since disclosure and I have no intention of letting it go away and the per living a normal life...it is my purpose to find a way to make his life more miserable than it truly is...but that takes patience and time and at times I have to confine my passion for this as my family wants to move forward. I want revenge and I will find it, so patience and going through all these painful emotions will make you stronger. Just allow yourself time and let them out...even if it is in writing, it will help put it into perspective. I live a pretty normal live on the outside and for the most part my life just flows as it did, but underneath i know I will bring him down for good....stay strong and peace and love will find you...when you are ready my friend.

Writing on this site has been a lifesaver for me, too. It's a combination of reaching out, dedicating the time to concentrating on the truth -- about your situation, your emotions, your concerns -- and stating it somewhere "out loud," or, at least, where you know it will be read and understood/accepted, and that no on will heap guilt upon you or judge you.

It's really, really, blissfully easy to think we know how to protect our own children, until we realize we couldn't or didn't. I was probably a pretty judgmental so-and-so before this happened to me -- "Why didn't she get to know that neighbor better first before letting her child play there?" I mean, surely (I thought) you could TELL when someone was a violent pervert, right? He sure as heck wouldn't have kids of his own, and live in a "nice" neighborhood and hold a respected position!! I was wrong on ALL counts, and my baby lost her life -- the life she DESERVED, the life I worked so hard to give her -- to this evil, manipulative individual. Grieving is exactly the word for it: that loss of innocence and safety and self-determination we want our children to have,
at minimum.

Do try to make some small, simple enjoyable moment for you and your children today -- a game or drawing together, or making a batch of brownies. It's very helpful to know that you're still capable of making good decisions for your kids when you're feeling lost, because YOU ARE capable of making good decisions. You all were held up and robbed. It was nothing you did wrong.

Wishing you strength!!!!

Naive1...your words and thoughts, truths and lies, prejudgements, all of the things you talked about are exactly mine.....I feel the same way and I was very moved by your words.
Thank You!
Peace and Love