Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
So my last post was that my nephew's(perp)therapist was reporting the abuse and referred him to another therapist since she does not do this kind of therapy.She told my sil she would fill in the new therapist and call her back.So I spoke to her today and asked if she heard anything and she did.She said the therapist called and said it was not reportable, we live in different states and my daughter and nephew have no contact,which is what I was told.But my sil also told me the therapist said he does not need counseling,that he knew what he did was wrong and that the two have no contact.WTF?Dos this sound like something a therapist would say?I seriously doubt it.2 years ago she took both her boys to a therapist after their father committed suicide and after 1 session the therapist said they were well adjusted and didn't need therapy,now she is using that excuse again.What therapist would turn away a 15 year old boy who gropped his younger cousin? I am livid!!!!He went and got his permit today, is going camping this weekend blah,blah,blah while my daughter is having a hard time and I am left wondering WTF.Why does he get to go on with his life? Have fun? Do things?Does anyone believe a therapist would say that? First of all if she did say that she is taking an awfully big chance that he wont do something else and she would be held accountable.And after only 1 session? She does not know him! I am so angry,I really don't know how I can possibly have a relationship with my sil after this. He was also suspended from school a couple years ago for grabing a girls breast,he told my sil he brushed up against her by accident,yea ok.I think my sil is in serious denial.I don't get it.if it were my son I would get him help,especially since he admitted to it. I thought I was over the I want to kill him stage and was beginning to accept it but I am traumatized all over again.And to make matters worse I think more happened. My poor sweet daughter has more problems than any 11 year old should have and this just adds more to her problems.I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.I am so glad this forum is here cause I can really tell you guys my feelings and know I wont be judged. I am just so heartbroken for my sweet girl.
You cannot save the world
Stay focused on your daughter
What happens with your nephew is between him n his mom
Their poor decision making may well bite them in the butt one day
But you said your piece
Move on
I always thought continued relationship w SIL was hopeless / strange anyway - but kudos for giving it a try.
My own son was evaluated by his counselor and she reported that she found no evidence of sexual behavior problems. He is 8. Yesterday I found in his bedroom drawer a drawing "you naked me naked. We put or weners in or butts. I do it too. We suck or weners. I do it too for sec"
I wish to tattoo this on my sons counselors forehead so that she may sit there cross eyed trying to read it.
These people / counselors are totally inept sometimes. Negligent is one thing. Inept means the potential to make situations even worse.
Counseling / psychology is soft medicine. There's not a definitive blood test or exam that concludes without doubt what is going on. There is much room for error.
As far as the therapist saying he doesn't need therapy, it seems like he needs to at least have an evaluation done before that statement is made! They have a psyc-social eval for that purpose. My daughter's therapist said she would never say a child was 100% safe because you just don't know. It does sound like your sil is in denial if he's had other issues like this. I think most if not all of us here have had some of the same issues with people being in denial. Just be glad that you are states away from him and that you can protect your daughter now. You'll probably never feel satisfied with what happens regarding this nephew.