i was online looking for local support groups for this topic, has not been easy however came across this site, already reading a few of the posts I feel better and not so alone..

However I have never felt so alone in my whole life as I have been the past 2 yrs..my son has been incarcerated for 2 yrs now won’t get out till 2022, measure 11, he is 6 hrs away from me the wheather is not do able in the winter so now I won’t be able to take the trip..I am 63 yrs old he is an only child the only family left is him and I, his fear is I won’t be standing there when he gets out, I do have medical issues that I can’t share with him, I know in my heart if something happened to me he would kill himself...The worst part is in his addiction, his girlfriend had his baby, they were still using and I turned them in, he went to treatment did everything he was supposed and got his daughter back, her mom failed 3 times, eventually succeeded...my son got a good job we had my granddaughter every weekend, after 2 yrs. relapsed and now in prison, my son got married, my granddaughter mom’s pressed charges for an incident from 3 yrs prior, out of revenge, one more week would of been statue of limitations...it was a horrible accident, when she pepper sprayed him, due to his big loud month, trying to get in shower could not see, the towel rack feel down he was swinging it to get his way around, it hit her middle left finger, which she had to have a pin put in..they were both high, she called me to take her to hospital which I did..now out of revenge because she thought they would be together i she has not let me see my granddaughter for 2 yrs. now, that has hurt me more than my son..she was my world...i send every holiday, birthday cards and gifts, and so does my son, I want her to know wheather her mom gives to her or not, I did not walk away from her she was taken from me...in 7 months, my son went to jail, my sister passed away and my granddaughter was taken from me...this is the short version of my story.

So the good side of all of this for those mom’s that might be freaking right now, I felt like you...but know my son got baptized in prison, gained a lot of weight looks better than I’ve ever seen him...and the peace in his eyes, for the first time after 18 yrs of his addiction we are closer now then ever before, I feel his hugs and touches, that I never got... I pray daily for his safely and for my health..I have to believe God won’t give me and more than I can handle...I put my life on hold I chose to raise this kid alone, because I came from a disfunctinal family...we will never condom what they have done, but we as mothers will never stop being mothers, we are all they have...

I am glad I found this site, sometimes it’s sad but true, when you hear someone elses struggles it makes you feel yours is not so bad..

Keep the Faith Mom’s