Parents of Prisoners Community Group

A group that tries to share with each other how they deal with being a good supporting parent of a prisoner and the unique problems that arise. What to share or not, how to deal with spouse of prisoner, ex-spouse of, children of prisoner which we may not see either anymore,so forth

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HopelessMum
HopelessMum

I am struggling to cope this rollercoaster ride, finding there are very few ups.  I searched for online chat groups without much luck and that is how I came across this.   Some of the posts made me feel I was not alone but I am not a religious person and feel no faith.  I guess the reason I am posting is to find out if anyone has found chat rooms because I  am feeling the system seems to punish not only the accused but those close to them.  My daughter is 23 n over a period of a couple of months choose the wrong friends who now are nowhere to he seen.  She is learning the hard way who her true friends are and it hurts to see her learn this way, but am I being punished for giving birth to her.  She did herself no favours and cracked in her Police interview but will not ever dob anyone in.  I would just like to know where to go for help for her family dealing with this in the outside and even for her if Supreme Court bail is granted. 

FaithGraceHopeJoy
FaithGraceHopeJoy
So sorry to hear of your pain and what you and your daughter are going through. Truly, the only way I have been able to cope is to trust God with it all. I am not religious. I have a relationship with Jesus who has helped me have a peace each and every day that I shouldn't have. Our almost 19 year old son is facing life in prison. I totally agree with you that the system is so wrong. It is so hard to watch our children make poor choices. When they are imprisoned, the only thing we can do is to love them and advocate for their best. Why would you be punished for giving birth to her? True friend stick close. Praying she obtains some true friends. Praying for you all.
SarahR4888
SarahR4888
Yes, you are right about the system punishing a prisoner's family, too. It's very hard for me to watch people who are related to victims, even those who have been killed and watch them want 'eye for an eye' retribution as justice.

I keep thinking, isn't it time that justice grew past Hammurabi's code from almost 4,000 years ago. I don't disagree my son should be punished in some way. But shouldn't this be a 'get your house in order' experience instead of just creating a situation where he will likely end back in jail almost immediately after he gets out?

And while he is the one who made the ultimate decision, what about all those who helped him get to that point, including the school and the 'friend' who told him to do it? Why do they get to shirk all of their responsibility towards creating the situation?
FaithGraceHopeJoy
FaithGraceHopeJoy
So sorry that you have to go through such pain because of your son's choices. Praying for strength and peace for you and that his incarceration will give him a wake up call. Praying that while he is in, he will be able to connect with programs and people that will point him in a positive direction. I have two friends who were both in federal prison for many years and they have both completely changed! They were completely hardcore criminals. They are both ministers now and the transformation was while they were in prison. They are such an encouragement to us.