Don't feel bad about having mixed feelings. I have too and even after 2 yrs, I can still be angry. But I have written my daughter of my feelings and she has apologized and promised that she will make me proud when she gets out. I hope it happens. But I love her, she is my baby, and nothing can change that. You are just going through the grieving process and eventually acceptance and some measure of peace will come. Keep coming here and we will help you through. Take care, sharon

I think all of us have had the feelings you are feeling. I, too, have wondered "How could he have done this to us and himself?" In my case, my son was addicted to Oxycontin. My son has written to us and told us many times how sorry he is for what has happened, but he does know he's made a mistake and has to pay for it. The amount of time he got sentenced to is ridiculous but that's a whole other story.

I just talked to my son and he sounds good. Luckily he is a very strong-minded man and seems to be taking everything in stride. Not sure if that's the right way to explain it.

I call the up and down days like a roller coaster. One day you are sad and crying a lot and on the next day things seem to be a little better. I feel bad that your son is so young and having to go through all of this. My son is 29 and I think his age may be making him handle it better. I hope things work out for the best for your son and for you and I hope he never has to return to jail again. We're here for you if you need to vent or talk. Take Care. Georgia

Hi hismama, i know how you are feeling hon and like Georgia and Sharon said we all go thru those feelings. I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster for months and months on end. I thought- am I ever going to feel normal again and enjoy life? That is when I fianlly found Daily Strength and with the help of thesebeautiful people here and the fact that I was Not alone in the world feeling the way i was feeling, I was able to start being me again. My son was 19 when he got arrest and has been in there for 2 1/2 years already. He knows now all the hurt he has caused his family and friends and how he is going to have a tough time when he gets out as now he has a record. But all in all he is my son, and I will help him get on his feet and start his life over going down the right Path this time: Please know that we are all here for you. If you need a shoulder to lean on or just need an ear I am here. My new saying is "Don't let what you can't do, interfer with what you can do" Just be there for him and we will be here for you. Hugs,Karen

I'm so fortunate to have found this site. Friends haven't gone through anything like this, and even though they try to be understanding, they don't really understand. My husband is my son's step-father, and even though he cares for my son, sometimes I feel he can't understand. I don't think anyone can understand how a mom feels about their child going through something like this. You raise your child to be the best person they can, and then something like this happens and you question your abilities to be a parent. I have two other sons and they don't really talk about this (they are 24 and 14). I know they too are angry at their brother. Of course their dad (my ex) doesn't make matters any better, but that too is another story.

Thank you all for being there!!

We all felt these things in the beginning....reassessing everything we ever did....including everything we taught them and every time we disciplined them....should we have home schooled them or what....the list is endless!

All a part of our grief! Read the news articles above it will help you to understand the merry go round of emotions you are on.

Sorry got to go fix supper for the family....but we will talk more later....anytime!
Love Rhea