Parents of Prisoners Community Group

A group that tries to share with each other how they deal with being a good supporting parent of a prisoner and the unique problems that arise. What to share or not, how to deal with spouse of prisoner, ex-spouse of, children of prisoner which we may not see either anymore,so forth

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Just waiting

hismamma
hismamma
My son is in jail for the third time. We are waiting till he goes to court before we know anything, which isn't scheduled until November. I'm dreading the Holidays. I dread the weekends because I don't get to see him. His visiting hours are on Fridays between 1 and 3. That means if I want to go see him, I have to take off work. No one at work knows he's in jail. I can't share that with people I work with. My family (that knows) trys to be supportive, but I still feel they are blaming me. Me son has always been a little on the wild side. Since he was little, I knew I would have problems with him. I just never knew how much. He's in jail for DWI, possession, probation violaltion, driving on a suspended license. What do I do?
deleted_user
deleted_user
You keep on loving him. You hold your head up high and if your family is blaming you, then that is too bad for them. We cannot always control our children. And very often those people who blame us conveniently overlook the faults of their own loved ones. However, they may not be blaming you. Just don't know what to say or how to say it.
You will get through the holidays. It won't be easy but you can do it. Judging from his offenses I would think he will not do much time in prison although since it is his third offense (and by the way, believe me, he is not the only one to reoffend over and over)he may do more than you hope for.
Good luck to your and your family.
Donna
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your son made a choice, as well as mine, and everyone else's child on this site. It is not our fault, and all we can do is continue to love them unconditionally. I agree with Donna. I can't see much prison time
in these offenses, but I don't know what state you're in or how old your son is. Maybe if he's only been in jail, his attorney could recommend a diversion program for him to the judge as an alternative. Hang in there...........Sillyhp
hismamma
hismamma
I think it's all the unknown that scares me. Yes, his offenses are not bad, but not his first. He is in jail with some very scary (for me) people and I know people adapt to their surroundings to survive and I'm kind of scared what he will pick up. A few days after he was put in jail, they did a raide and found 50 razor blades, some shanks and a spear. These were found in the same pod he is in. I finally got to speak to him and he tries to assure me he's okay, but I'm not convinced. He just turned 20 last month.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He is very young. If he hasn't been in any kind of rehab or treatment program I'd sure try to get his attorney to look into it. My son was 25 in June and that is what his attorney is going to recommend this time. However, if they are not ready, they are not ready. What is that old saying? "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it." Something like that. Good luck to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
A friend of mine, a very wonderful lady, has three sons. Two very successful and one who has been in and out of prison for years and years. She had a very strong faith and kept praying for her prodigal son but was at her wits end. The last time he was in for ten years. Well, he's been out for three years and has really gotten his life together. So I would say that you have a very young son who has a hopefully very long life ahead of him and with your love and support, will turn his life around someday. It may be a while and maybe he has to take some lumps but it can be done. Never believe the naysayers. Just keep on loving him. And I agree with Sillyhp's saying. That's right on the money.
Donna