Parents of Prisoners Community Group

A group that tries to share with each other how they deal with being a good supporting parent of a prisoner and the unique problems that arise. What to share or not, how to deal with spouse of prisoner, ex-spouse of, children of prisoner which we may not see either anymore,so forth

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Giving up on my son

Ichris
Ichris

Hi, My 26 year-old son is bipolar. He is a sociopath and cannot reason in a normal sense. He has been in and out of jail since he was 14. I am exhausted from the stress and heartache. He has been slashed and shot. He has taken drugs, sold drugs, beaten up friends, girlfriends and has robbed people. His father died and left him his entire estate of about $400,000 which he spent every penny on cars, (he crashed all 4), clothes, drugs and legal fees.  He is completely broke. He was in jail for three months and was out of three months and now has been arrested for one incident and remanded to federal court for another. I will no longer enable him and give him a soft landing pad. I am tired. I cannot cope, alone with his self-destructive behavior and his violent behavior toward me. I am not proud to say that I hope he stays in jail for a long period because he is a danger to himself and to others. 


I think my situation may be different from others on this site, but I need to to reach out to someone. I am hurting. I never thought this would be my life.

lookingonthebrighterside
lookingonthebrighterside
My heart goes out to you... you are an amazing mother and it probably feels like you are all alone ... but you are not. i would not suggest not giving up on him, but set boundaries. If your son has been diagnosed with the mental health issues that you mentioned... jail is not the answer. it seems as though he needs to be medicated and participate in psychotherapy. Provide him with an ultimatum... if he chooses not to participate, you do not want him around you. however that is not giving up, that is empowering him to find his way. he has the right to self-determination. often mothers facing circumstances like this work harder than our children. Allow him to figure it out without mom. pray for him and pray for your higher power to give you strength to step down while he takes the wheel. There is still hope... please don't give up!
dorothyM
dorothyM
You are no alone!! A good mother does everything she can and sometimes that is painful and devastating. Does he have an actual diagnosis of a sociopath or is that your thoughts? Perhaps by walking away you are giving him a chance to reflect on his past and maybe just maybe, one day in the distant future make changes.
Ichris
Ichris
The last time i tried to set boundaries, my son went into a rage and held a butchers knife to my chest. I had to call 911 and after a 2 hour stand off, they arrested him. He came out six months later and begged me to take him back. He did not threaten me, but did not change. I told him he must move out. He did not. I became afraid to anger him. I should not have let him come back. He is 26 now and in the Federal prison and I don't want to hear from him again. I want a stay away order again and he needs to see.