Parents of Prisoners Community Group
A group that tries to share with each other how they deal with being a good supporting parent of a prisoner and the unique problems that arise. What to share or not, how to deal with spouse of prisoner, ex-spouse of, children of prisoner which we may not see either anymore,so forth
sooo... do you tell people that your child is in prison? When you run into an old high school friend who asks "how are your kids?" When you run into a mom from the baseball team he played on 5 years ago? Do you make posts on facebook when you feel like you are dying?? do you tell people??????!!!!
PressingOn
It depends on how close I am to the person. If someone casually asks, I just say fine. (I have 4 kids) If it's a very close friend and they are pushing for a real answer/connection, I will tell them. No, I don't post anything on facebook, really. I will say I had a good visit with him, etc.
dew23
I think all parents want a kid they can be proud of. We worked so hard to give our kids the advantages we did not have. We live in a small community and you cannot go anywhere without someone asking about our son, who is locked up. We avoid people and have broken off all of our relationship with almost everybody. Those that know seem to be avoiding us? Maybe they don't want to get what we got. It is tough. Hopefully, you have a spouse or close family member to lean on.
Nicksmom
No, people are judgemental. I feel like a liar, but people can be cruel. So I lie, it's none of their business anyway. I've had family members disown my son and myself because I will not turn my back on my son. Save yourself some heartache keep your son business to yourself. God's speed my friend.
KelRN
I agree it depends on how well I know them and if I feel like getting into that day or not...I do have a private FB group for people who know the situation and I post pictures from our visits and info about my son as well as rants when I am having a tough time...unfortunately many people don't really know what to say to those...When I do tell people where he is I tell them the whole story, because what he was accused of was all based on a big lie.
sacred
As one of my dearest friends who is recovering in AA said, "You can't go back." I just wanted to identify the elephant in the room, but she advised against it. It burdens the listener and gives them information to pass along. You might just want the information to stay close among you. I asked two dear friends "Not to say anything." They agreed, but were then so troubled they "had to tell someone." As you can imagine that information just kept leaking. I now keep things quiet. I do not want coworkers and extended family and friends knowing. Not sure I can do this, but I'm going to try.
Katmama514
I tell people when they ask. While it's not the road that I would've chose for my son. It is the reality that his choices took us too. I refuse to hide it or act ashamed. He is my son, I know he made a very poor choice but I am still a very proud mama. Because at the end of the day I know his heart, and I am proud of him. I talk about him every single day because so many locked up are forgotten and left. People can be judgemental, but that their problem not mine. And I figure I carry enough, I deal with the pain of his choices constantly all day every day. It is a pain that is unlike any other. I never knew anything could hurt this bad. So talking about him helps, not hiding him or his circumstances helps. Because at the end of the day I have to accept the reality and learn to cope.
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