Dear Benjaminsmom, Bless you. Faith, confiding in a small group of family/friends and going back to work are what are sustaining me. - When our son was arrested I just wanted to sleep all day. Did not want to be awake for this living nightmare. Then I went to counseling and confided in 3 family members/9 friends about our son. Keeping it tight has brought some peace. And then I went back to work. This has helped me tremendously. It allows me to stay busy and push through the pain. There are "PTSD" moments when I'm at work and something triggers a thought of my son and I just wince in pain, however my days are spent busy and away from the all consuming love, sorrow, grief, disgust, anger, then love again I feel towards my son. Lastly Service is what is actually helping both my husband and me. Staying in service to others. - Thinking of you and sending you loving thoughts.

I just feel like these feelings will never go away. It's a hopeless and helpless hell that I can't crawl out of. I worry about him every second of every waking moment and I type this as I lay in bed. Just too tired to do anything. Hoping counseling can give me some hope. I look forward to sentencing so I have a concrete time frame for how long he will be away and yet I dread knowing the time. His 2 1/2 year old daughter and girlfriend (his daughters mother) will be living with us now. Just something I didn't plan on doing at this time in my life. Thanks for your reply. Prayers

I feel your pain. . . . .please. . . Make a big effort to go to your sons sentencing. He needs you. I had all I could do to go to my sons,, but I did it, and I also drove him six hours to self surrender to federal prison. The most painful day of my entire life. But I did it......for him. . .and I'm here to support him until he's released,
I cry a lot too
I can't eat
I don't sleep well
And I think abut it him about constantly, I wonder how did things end up this way??? But they did and we'll get through it and everything will be alright
I'll be keeping you in my good thoughts and hope you're u find the strength to do what your son needs {{{ hugs. }}}}

Tomorrow is the sentencing day. Prayers for us all please. ❤

5-10 years was the final ruling today. My heart is breaking

Hope you are doing okay today - I am just trying to get aquanted w/this site, but my husband's ex-wife did time on a felony in which she recommitted under a deferral program and they told me back then (15 years ago or more) that in our state the programs/settings etc. in long term corrections equate to 3 days served for our calendar days and it is still my understanding today that many of our state programs are better than the County Jail - this may depend on where you live. But my step son got charged a few years ago on a felony assault to elderly (my mother in law) & he ended up doing 5-6 months actual time & county time is applied to the sentence. Now have step daughter & her boyfriend/baby Daddy are both in county jail. We think she will end up with around 5 months on a felony assault and the baby Daddy's is some sort of 2nd offense, & his family says they think he will do around 4 years - I suspect this is probably 4 years of jail time, meaning 3 days credit for each day he is there - he is actually still in county& been there since January... but Step daughter's baby is with us & not her first time in jail - all prior were misdemeaners & had a couple of felonies of which she sat & did not take a plea - they dropped after 2-3 months...... anyway, just wanted to say hang in there - and hopefully the actual time he does is not our calendar time.... also we have attended some Alanon Meetings while over time it helps - it is also very hard, if not impossible for us to do much of anything in the evening now, with an infant in our home.