Parents of estranged adult children Community Group
One or more of our adult children walked out of our lives and never looked back.
When people in your family ignore you what do you do? I still see my adult children on holidays,but thats it. My DIL ignores me the entire time as does my daughters long term boyfriend. I now have started to ignore them as well ,well i will be starting to. My adult children except for 1 treats me as i am there but rarely talk to me it makes it uncomfortable...why i still go is beyond me.After their Father died going on 8 years ago i have heard from them less but am thinking its a good thing now even though till not that long ago i was deeply hurt. I have come to accept their lack of wanting to be around me as a positive thing now.Has taken me 12 years to get here
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Woke up feeling very emotional and about to clock in at my place of employment. And can't place it all in writing but not been a good experience with my store manager or his boss. Defamation of my character is a concern. I've been losing appetite and weight. Trying to perform at work to keep myself from hospitalization as a result of toxic masculinity.
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This is why I don't go to family functions. I felt very unsupported when I lost my husband in 2020. And my grandmother's 9 living children and hosts of grandchildren turned against me when I was managing my grandma's end of life care as her Power of Attorney. I was the administrator of the grandfather and grandmother's estates (an extremely thankless job that took over two years of my life!) When...
If you've not tried, maybe After Thanksgiving, if you are willing to hear the answers, just ask what is the break in the relationship...Not What Have I don't Wrong....if they are honest, then you've got something to work with.
I grew up in a house with double alcoholism, took me Years to deal with the insanity. Sadly, My Mom was gone at 40, we'd become friends for about 10 years...grateful for that time.
We are all human and screw up, I have a son, at 70 I try to keep open communication, have said I'm sorry when I know I screw up and try to change my behavior and not be controlling, telling him my opinions or give advice unless asked. It's taken me many years as I was a single Mom and he has aspbergers to not be a helicopter Mom.
I'm sorry too for the loss of your husband, this time of year can be very hard <3 Just remember you are in control of what you do and say, it's your choice to reach out or not depending on what is best for your own peace of mind <3
It's hardest for me at holiday time as my Mom used to be the backbone of Everyone getting together for the holiday..now it's just my son and I and I thank God for him, and believe God Knew I needed something to keep me going.
I get what they are saying as a single parent, about life getting so busy...no excuse really, but can be a reality cause you never know what goes on behind closed doors...I lost touch with my sister's kids after I had my son at 43...I feel badly about that...their Dad remarried and their "new" Mom made it clear she was their Mom and I felt like a reminder of a painful time...plus all the challenges of being a single parent.
I hope you will see them during the holiday and there will be a shift in attitude somehow to take away the terrible loss and sadness of 'ignore' ... Hugs to you Shelda <3 Perssonally I think being a Mom or a teacher are the two Hardest roads to travel in life!!
Wishing you a Very Happy Thanksgiving and hoping the day will bring you all that you want.
When we stop wanting what we can’t have, we can find peace of mind. I have to remind myself daily of this idea.
And we can choose to accept these few visits and try to find something of value in them. I’m visiting my last surviving relative and I wish we had not come. It’s USA Thanksgiving here. She’s a drag, she’s very strange.