I am estranged from my son and grandchildren. This is the third incidence and my son has never lashed out at me. He's close to 40 and married to someone with OCD. I am a warm, loving grandparent which my DIL may be jealous of. Her OCD is making my son have it by proxy. Weird stuff he's said that sounds like it has come out of her mouth.
Anyway he did communicate with me to explain that he has to curtail anything that makes his wife worse (I don't think she's in treatment and they have never disclosed her diagnosis though it is obvious to me). He said that I "make her nervous." Then he told that he had expected her to improve during the estrangement and he was surprised that she didn't. HA!
So I am leaving gifts on doorsteps without ringing the bell. Communicating with the grandchildren via cards and presents but since this has been going on for 15 months, I feel the need to be brave and do more. Write her an amends letter directly, ring the doorbell for the next birthday gift, etc. I can't just hang back and accept the status quo: more of the same. At least I get to give gifts--and I got a birthday card from my son, thank you notes from my DIL. But my heart bleeds. Thanks for listening. I'll try to offer my best support to y'all.
Today at alanon was a step meeting andthe question for today was on step two. “When have you done the same things overand over, Yet expected different results”Can anyone relate to that question and understand their own insanity. I know iwas like that during my breakup. Tryingto fix the marriage and fix him. I was really insane, that was me the codependent. I wasafraid of being...
I feel like my world is falling apart, and there is only me standing there trying to keep it all together, and trying to make these others do what they need to do. Somewhere in my head I know I can only control myself. I have been with my common law husband for 16 years, we have a 15 year old son and I have two daughters from previous relationships. We finally bought a house 4 years ago and...