Hello, I am new to this site and in an unfortunate manner, SO RELIEVED to know I am not alone in this situation. I have a son and daughter with six grandchildren. So far, I have missed four birthdays and I have a feeling I am about to miss another one next month. I cannot figure out where to begin as I just don't know where to start. I read so many of your stories that are different yet the same. Yesterday, I was in the darkest place of my life. I didn't think I could go on. Thankfully, my exhusband talked with me and was able to help me get out of the hole and see it is not me. My sisters did the same but only through texts. I loved the advantage of the texts, but this past six months I hate it with passion.
Anyhow, I have been accused of hurting the one grandchild that has been the obstacles of my relationship with my son since he was a baby. At first, my sisters, daughter and father thought it was the extreme shyness. But as he was growing up, we all noticed he would have nothing to do with his dad's side of the family. I also discovered they had gone through several sitters with their jobs terminated due to his fears of them. His youngest two siblings had no issues like him. The daughter in law takes this very personally and has made my relationship with my son very difficult. It has gotten so bad that I would fear what to say around her as many times it would be taken out of context.
Then my daughter situation came in play after she married the man that has made her life so miserable, she tried to leave him several times. Now, she has sent me a letter in April saying I am out of her and the grandkids life permanently. Oh its ok to drop grandkids presents at the door, but I have to knock then leave.
I did talk to my son over the weekend finally after six months of wondering what I could have done to receive the punishment. After hearing his story, I was in such shock I could not think straight. I kept questioning myself over and over "Did I really do that?". I didn't know how to comprehend what had happened that I felt like I wasn't standing in reality (yesterday). Today, I still hurt tremendously but after reading so many of your posts I feel I can get through this.
I know I made my post very long and with lots of holes. I apologize for that. I have never been good with my english and with my communication. I could literally write a book much easier than I could summarize it. All I know is I am relieved to know that I am not alone in this situation and I do hope I can come out of this group with a positive outlook and a healed heart (children or no children).
Thank you all for reading my post. I do hope I can find a chat group that I can get involve with online. Going to a group physically is not an option for other reasons. I hope all of you that are suffering like me will have a wonderful day regardless. ILoveMyGkids
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