May I be blunt? This is typical for a user to be angry when the abused person sets a limit and says no more. In all fairness, we enable for a long time, they get used to it, and then we stop and it makes them mad. How do people learn to cope with adversity if we don't go through the hard times, figure it out by ourselves, and become stronger for going through things and learning from our mistakes. Your son is trying to manipulate you. If he's drinking or doing drugs, this is typical behavior for an addict. He may come back, but don't beg him, let him "suffer" the consequences of his actions/behaviors. At some point, our children have to learn from their mistakes. Your job is to focus on yourself now and make a good life for you and your husband. Find some hobbies or social events. Focus on you and let go of the adult child being the focus of your life. That is not healthy.

My children did the same thing when I stopped taking their crap. I'm mostly out of the drama now.....