Hello imissmyson,

I found this site on a goggle search and read your post. I don't want you to think you are alone. My young adult son disowned me and his father publicly this week. He is so angry and, I think hurting, and he blames us to the core. I am just sick and believe I am going to write him a letter but there is so much going on in my brain. I have known he has been angry with me for years now and I had hoped that by giving him his space it would improve but it, in fact, did the opposite. My son, like yours, used profanity and when I told him I did my best he told me it wasn't good enough. One thing that is helping me, and I hope this may be an option for you, is that he is in touch with one of his siblings currently - if he breaks that tie I will be devastated. I fear for his safety and well being and all I can do now is pray. Maybe we can share support for each other here. Heart hurting for you and you are being thought of at this very moment.

Sounds like my life.
My son wont let me in his life. He told me to die alteady. This resentment he has is very strong and my ex husband always mad mouthed me to him.
Its devestating to know that your child is rejecting you.
I know how painful it is. I bern crying myself a lot today. Its a nightmare i cannot wake up from.

My son cut me out of his life 6 years ago and I too die every day. I wish I could tell you what to do but I'm clueless. People say keep reaching out but it hasn't done a bit of good in 6 years. He has blocked me on all sites and his mother sends back my mail when I try to reach him through her. Believe me when I say I know your pain. I've been at it a lot longer.

I also understand what the brokenness feels like, having been estranged from my daughter and two grandkids (one of whom I have never met) going on 8 years now. All the calls, texts, cards, gifts, etc. have never made a difference. I am told by her best friend that my son-in-law is jealous of mine and hers close relationship, and my daughter's dad told me that our daughter was jealous of the relationship I had with my grandson. So, there seems to be a lot of jealousy and mental sickness going on here, with a severe case of narcissism. Strange, though, my daughter will not have anything to do with most of her close friends she had when growing up, my family or anyone who has anything to do with me. So, that tells me that it is not something I have done in particular, or she would just be estranged from just me. All I can say is, Karma will come back around one day. Hang in there. Start putting yourself first and don't beat yourself up over something that you never caused to begin with. Don't allow your son to place the blame on you, when he is the one who needs to step up and take responsibility for his bad decisions and actions. You deserve better as his mother. Find things you like to do, positive people to hang with and a special friend you can tell it all to without being judged. Life will go on, albeit not the same, but you will find your joy elsewhere in places you never dreamed. Don't give up, don't stop praying and don't stop taking care of YOU. Be blessed!

I am newly feeling the same way you are. Our son always told us how lucky he was to have us..Always close. Fast forward to him in the military and gladly took our hospitality offered to he and shipmates, gladly accepted hundreds of dollars in care packages (that stretched us financially) to marrying a fellow sailor he "dated" 3 months after she was out of the service. At this point he reamed me on a phone call, said it was "stupid" to expect to be included in their wedding, got mad that I accepted an appointment at Cleveland Clinic for his brother (who was deathly ill from Crohn's) on his birthday (even though he was stationed 4 hours away)....Went on to tell me that Crohn's isn't fatal and I was just being overly dramatic again (Cleveland doc said our son wouldn't have lasted long) and has had 2 surgical procedures in less than a year. Now we found out from others seeing on FB my son and his wife are expecting but didn't tell us. Brraksy heart more than words can express.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I, too, have been estranged from my middle 20 y/o son. He just hates me beyond belief! He says (at last contact) that I should know why, but I don't. I have my guesses, but nothing warrants how much he hates me....IMO. But, I'm not him.

My son's estrangement was also fueled from his father. Just remember that you cannot change how they feel about you and you do not deserve to be verbally abused either.

I don't have any answers...I can only give support and also share my story.