Hello - Our son was a great kid.  He never gave us any trouble.  We were very close, especially he and his Dad.  He went to college, graduated, got a great job and then he met a girl at his job.  That's when everything changed and he became someone that we (my husband, daughter and I) didn't know.  We were at odds about stupid things.  He wrote my husband and I a hateful letter . . . not telling us what we had done wrong, but telling us of all of our shortcomings and what awful people we were.  There was quite a bit of profanity.  Without going into detail, we were blindsided.  The "new girlfriend" basically twisted and manipulated every situation to suit her agenda.  Little did we know then, but later realized that her agenda was to turn our son against his entire family and all of his friends, which is exactly what happened. I suspect that she somehow felt threatened by the relationship we had with our son.  This happened almost 6 years ago.  We were invited to the wedding 2 years ago.  We didn't want to go, but against our better judgment, we went.  I, the mother of the groom sitting in the front row watched as my son escorted his soon to be mother-in-law down the isle to her seat and kissed her on the cheek.  My son's bride made sure that all of the women at the wedding (including the little girls) all had beautiful wrist corsages, while my daughter and I were given boutineers (what the men wear).  It was by far, the worst day of my life.  We haven't seen or spoken to our son since.  

I want to share what has helped me.  It's a grieving process.  I've often said to myself, it's like he died, but he didn't.  He just doesn't want anything to do with us.  Rejection rips your heart out to the core!!  The pain is unexplainable.  You question everything, especially yourself as a parent.  This went on for years.  Please learn from my experience - don't beat yourself up.  You didn't do anything to deserve this.  Your child will go on and on about how awful you are and "I'm staying away because of you.  It's all your fault".  Your child is trying to make themselves feel better about the decisions they have made.  Remember, your child made that decision all on their own and the responsibility lies with them.  Don't allow them to blame you.  This is the hard part . . .  you have to let them go.  Continuing to reach out to them not only gives them a sense of control, but it puts you in a vulnerable position where they can continue to disrespect and demean you.  

Today I can tell you that I'm whole again.  It's been a very long journey.  I love my son despite all of the mean and hateful things he has said and done to us.  I have long forgiven him.  I've learned that forgiveness isn't about letting the other person off the hook for the hurt they have caused, forgiving someone is about YOU, your well being and the ability to move on with the life that God has given you.  Six years ago, I was struggling with a lot of things.  I looked to God for comfort.  I wanted to change churches, but didn't know how to go about it.  That's intimidating!!!  Not knowing where to turn, I started listening to Dr. Charles Stanley on christian radio on my way to work one day and I have been listening to him for 6 years.  (I don't think that was a coincidence.)  I can't tell you how many times his words touched my heart to the point of tears (healing tears).   My husband and I now go to a non-denominational church which we love.  I am able to look at this situation with my son differently.  He onced loved his family and only he knows why he did what he did.  I have faith that he will be back. The decisions he has made will catch up with him.  For that, I feel so very sorry for him.  He's already lost so much time.  I pray that God works in his life because he so desparately needs him.  When you go through something like this, people can turn to different things for comfort.  God has always been a part of my life, but not in the way that he is now.  He brought me through it and for that, I'll be forever grateful!!!  I'm finally at peace and I pray that all of you find peace as well.