Parents of estranged adult children Community Group

One or more of our adult children walked out of our lives and never looked back.

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carlamarie52 12/19/2017

I've not been on this forum for a couple of years. It wasn't because I was doing better. It was because I thought that I needed a break. Before I left I had been a member for a few years. I was starting to get overwhelmed with how many new member there were every week. So many sad stories.....different, but all the same. I'm sure that there are still many new members coming in on a daily basis. This problem is slowly becoming less silent.

For me, the estrangement is still a burden I carry and I know it will never go away. It will be 18 years next month since my 2 daughters threw me away. They are both in their mid forties now and the 2 granddaughters that

my oldest has are now young women. I don't know them! I also have a 13 yr old grandson from my youngest whom I have never met.

The pain never goes away. It might not rear its ugly head as often as it once did, but when it does, it feels like it just happened. I'm having a hard time this holiday season. I lost my dear Aunt on Thanksgiving day. And a dear friend has been diagnosed with cancer. I've been blaming my teariness on those 2 events. But there is another reason. My husband and I have become good friends with another couple within the last year. I really felt a connection with the woman because we had several things in common. They even had an estranged son whom they hadn't had contact with for 6 years. Four weeks ago she told me that her son had contacted her and wanted to reconcile. I immediately broke down. I'm so happy for her, but yet so envious. She was so kind and had been reluctant to tell me her news.

This has been a long, sometimes brutal journey. I cannot allow myself to think about or dwell on my situation. I cannot allow myself to go back down into that big black hole I once occupied for so long. I will get through these holidays and the next ones and the next ones after that. For those of you who remember me, you will remember that my motto is, "What doesn't kill me will make me stronger".

greenwolverine 12/19/2017

I'm sorry you're still dealing with this. I was on here several years ago when my son cut me off, and am back as it's happening again. We have had a strained relationship over the years as he was turned against me by his father when he was a child, but it was only total estrangement for about a year, but is happening again. I think this is becoming so common that it's a silent epidemic among us baby boomers. I've been searching for resources online, and the stories are heart wrenching! Parents are cut off over a phone bill, not giving the adult child something, etc., etc. I feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone as our kids accuse us of the most horrible things for just being human. It's very hard not feeling like a total failure when your own child hates you so much they want absolutely nothing to do with you.

hikinggirl 12/22/2017

I've been dealing with it for two years. I've been trying to connect with my daughter, too, but she is now repeating the hurtful stuff my ex says. I can't keep trying. It is so crazy to me, because I'm a teacher and I think I do so much good, but yet, my oldest treats me like her abusive dad and he was never around and she said that to me when I was crying when divorce papers came to the house. Now, she is repeating the mean stuff he says to me.

It being the holidays. How do you cope?

Kaitee 12/27/2017

Our painful words reveal how much we need each other. How much we need the Lord. Just before I found this group, I was seriously considering starting a faith-based support group for parents of adult children. Now I feel focusing in the estrangement part is vital. I was a victim advocate for 18 yrs. I married the 2nd time to a pathological gambler (they sure know how to keep a secret!). I've done years of research based on everything I learned. I know for a fact that only God can heal an addicted gambler because of the gross degeneration of brain cells. Anyway, it was my son who actually rescued me from certain death at my ex-husband's hands. This is my dear son I was so close to and was so close to me - he hasn't wanted me in his life for over 5 yrs. now. You don't - none of us have to suffer in silence. Suffering in silence is also what families of addicted gamblers have to do, and it's horrific. My heart goes out to you all. I truly believe that such huge rejections by our grown up babies should be in God's hands. Ours our too small. All I did for years was cry, pray and plead with my son. I have a heart condition and a painful injury to a leg, yet every moment revolves around my boy. He doesn't deserve the pain he's in, but for some reason deals with it better without his mom. All the people in this support group are family. It's no coincidence we've found each other. You're in my prayers.

Herbgardener 04/02/2018

I just joined tonight. I was desperately searching for something, anything online that could help me through this. I found this group. I was so thankful to find others who know and understand what it is like for a mom to have her child turn on her. Though I would not wish this on any one, I was thankful to not be alone. I have felt alone so much. I kept hoping as my daughter "matured" things would change. She just turned 30 two days ago. I don't know if it will ever get better. What more can we do?

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