I cant believe how much so many post sound like my story... its been over a year... and I am in counseling.. I have cried two days in a row until my eyes actually feel strained... I did cry every day... the pain is unbearable on some days.. but I am trusting in my God and waiting on him to work... It is a grief and that's the process... I don't know if there is a chat here? I wish were were all from the same state so we could get together and cry... it is soooo painful.

It is so sad. So many of us with same pain.
Where do u live?
I am in Mew Jersey

I live in Indiana :( There is some relief as minor as it is to know we are not alone... What sent me spiraling was I never saw it coming.... who I thought I was in their eyes... was not what they really thought... so very broken too

This is exactly what happened with my son 6 years ago. Almost word for word. The worst part is I miss the person my son used to be and that's what makes me cry. That's my weakness. I'm also waiting on God to work in his world and I pray daily that God gives my son what he needs to let go of his anger and hate.

This is also what happened to our son 4 years ago. We would say hello and she would literally turn her back and face the other way. When I asked my son he said she was just shy. Too shy to say hello in return? I have a great relationship with my mother in law - she is such a beautiful person. I love my husband as much as his mum does and thank her for making him who he is.

I'm struggling to understand why would someone turn a son or daughter against their family? If you love someone why would you remove the people that care so deeply about them from their life? It is like only their lives matter and the son or daughter is expected to reject everything that shaped them and join the partners life.

DaisyDew I am sorry this is also a living experience for you. I hope you find strength here. I am new to estrangement and new to this site. I too struggle to understand why daughter in laws influence our sons to reject us. I was close with my son, my only child. He met a girl who I accepted into our family and treated her like a friend, I supported her and gave her plenty of positive reinforcements as It is important that she feels welcome in our family. After having my grand daughter she began making remarks about me which were quite rude but I put it down to her hormones. she then visited my home and accused me of hating her and not having the courage to tell her. she said it was the big white elephant in the room and she wanted me to admit it. I was totally shocked and confused as i treated her with the utmost respect and believed there was mutual trust and respect. I started to tread on egg shells with her and she began asking me why i was so quiet with her. I am an open and honest person and trusted that I could tell her how i was feeling. I told her i felt shocked at what she had said and it had made me question everything i said and did for fear she would take it the wrong way, i also felt i was grieving the loss of our friendship. She invalidated my feelings and told me i was pathetic. I stood up for myself at this point and told her that her behaviour towards me is passive aggressive which confuses me. The only reason I could see for this change in behaviour was she had been on her best behaviour for the [ast 3 years and now the real personality is beginning to show.

As a result I she told me she would divorce my son and i will never see my grand daughter again.
They are still together but she made my son choose between her and me. My son chose her and since christmas he has slowly cut me out of his life.

It is his 25th birthday tomorrow and he texted me to tell me I am not invited to his party as it will be too awkward. The rest of my family are attending.

I am now seeing a counsellor, i cry every day.I feel ashamed, sad, guilty, rejected, angry, powerless and isolated. My relationship with my family is suffering also.

My daughter in law has openly admitted to not liking me. So the relationship between my son and is non excistant. I get a monthly obligatorie phone call but never invited to their house no dropping by. They constantly go on vacation, dinners concerts with her parents. I feel like a chore. I spend my time remembering when he was a little boy happy family memories and now it's just all gone

New to the Group:
I have a daughter who is so difficult since her marriage. She only talks to me if she needs baby sitters for my Grandsons. I love them so much, but each time I get kicked in the teeth. I trust she is coming around, when she stops talking after she has used me. I am heart broken, but the pain each of you is sharing is helping me vent my frustration.

I can so relate to so many things that have been said above. My son is 26, I tried very hard to make his girlfriend welcome and loved and as I have 2 boys I suppose she was the nearest thing to a daughter we had. However when sh became pregnant 2 years ago there were small changes towards me and my family. Last September my son told me she was very controlling and he wanted to seperate from her however we feel she has threatened him in some way, ie not letting him see his daughter that he idolises maybe as since then he has decided to stay with her and she has gradually distanced him from all his family, his brother and all his friends. we have not seen him on his own since then and any phonecalls are only made when she is there. Also he has moved within walking distance of her family and we have been told that for now they want no contact with us which means we dont see our son or our beautiful little grandaughter. And other than being my sons parents we honestly dont know what we've done. I am in the UK and grandparents here have no rights whatsoever. It is very cruel and I too cry every day. I genuinely do not know what to do. I feel for all of you

I am like you. We internalize what other's do wrong and ask what did I do wrong ? It's a painful and complex problem that people with "good" children will never understand. In addition, I have learned that I have to be careful with friends and family I share my pain with. Sadly, they often exacerbate it.

I am going through the same thing with my daughter. “The light of my life, my best friend!” Since she got engaged she has replaced me with his mother!! Worse than that, she wrote me this long “hate” letter. Spelling out all the things she sees that I’ve done or not done. The problem is, I did do the things she claims I didn’t do and many of the things she said I did wrong, I didn’t even realize that it bothered her. She has blocked me on FB (her sister too) and won’t let me see my grandkids on holidays (they are reserved for his parents). I have cried for a year and half!
This has actually caused me to have heart damage. Apparently, you really can have a broken heart. It’s called “broken heart syndrome”. Her father and I are divorced ( still friends) and he is the one who didn’t do all the things that she has accused me of not doing, but he gets a pass. Even he has tried talking to her.
I will never understand what happened!

I can't believe how many stories share a universal theme of "after another person entered in". It goes to show you how when we do life with someone, we become more and more vulnerable to let go of our natural born reality.