i am the mother of 6 boys. My firstborn and I were very close. But something snapped in college and on Christmas Day 2010 he snapped. I have never seen such abuse come from a son to the point I had to calmly ask him to pack his bags. I told him he was welcome back when he could treat me with respect. He apologized the next day and left to meet up with a girlfriend he clearly couldn't see was a bad choice. Within 2 weeks of leaving to go back to college he broke up with her. She didn't handle it well. The college even called us to let us know they were concerned about his safety from her. He met another girl. Old girlfriend started harassing new girlfriend to the point of confrontation between the two. Our son eventually married the second girlfriend within 10 months of meeting. She seemed like the perfect girl for him. But we soon realized she was very insecure and jealous. They settled half the country away from us even though our son always looked forward to returning to live where he was raised. She thought our son talked too sweet to a Starbucks barista and was jealous. The old girlfriend looked up his wife and talked. Now suddenly they are friends and my daughter in law turned on me all the more. Ever since he met and married his wife my son has had nothing but criticism of me. Maybe he has to find fault with me in order for him to not feel guilt about living away. And she's brainwashing my son against me out of her jealousy as are her parents. I saw a text accudrbtky from her mother that is negative toward us so they have their own jealousy issues. Long story short... my son burned and betrayed my second son in a real estate deal (farm the owned jointly inherited from my father) and he started berating me without just cause. This latest ordeal was too great... it has broken our family. And there will no longer be a relationship with my first born. And I will never again see my grandchildren. She makes sure the kids don't know us. They have two boys age 5, 1 and she's pregnant with the family's first girl that I will never see.  It's been 10 years I've been putting up with abuse of some sort from him. I'm always worried if I will say the wrong thing, can't be myself, walk on egg shells. I have done nothing to overstep my boundaries, praised her, wrote an apology letter (no response from her) barely from my son. I've tried to draw close to her. I don't know what else to do. This latest thing with the real estate ordeal is something I never imagined in my wildest nightmare. When my son texted me "see you in court"... that is not the son I raised or know. And his negative attitude toward me didn't start until he met these girls and married one of them. He and she try to draw a wedge between my husband (his father) and me. No matter what anybody says to him he responds by either "you need to stick up for your wife" or "mom has brainwashed you". I can't win. I found a book called "Done with the crying" by Sheri McGregor which has been a great help. I must grieve him away. It's very difficult. I will never understand how women can be so hateful. My daughter in law said to me "I'm new at this". What's so new difficult about being kind and respectful? Treating others how you want to be treated. For the first time since my kids were little I had all my sons together when they came to say good bye to my mother in law before she passed. My daughter in law actually let my son come home by himself for 24 hours. When she wasn't here he was like his ole self. It was truly amazing. I was able to get a family picture with all my sons now adults except for one son who is 14. Anyway, I held off on sending her that picture for awhile. An opportunity presented itself and I sent her the picture. I said "thank you for letting  D..... to come which I was able to get a family picture with my now grown adult sons". Her only response was going out and having her father take a family picture of her, my son and grandsons. This was a picture I had been requesting from her for over a year and then sends it as a response to my family picture taken with my sons. Jealousy, greed, self-centerness. I'm 59 and don't have time for this. It's Heart breaking to say the least. I have questioned myself as a person and as a parent continuously. My other 5 sons don't think this way. Yet I can't keep my mind off my firstborn. We had such a wonderful relationship. He's extremely talented on the piano... I sat down with him every day to help him practice. He's won various awards for citizenship etc.  My oldest is in his 3rd year of residency in medicine. He never invited me to his medical school graduation. Her parents were involved in all of it.  I don't understand how a professional like him can lack such maturity. Nobody likes rejection. But it has come time for me to move on. And bury my son emotionally. I cannot continue to live like this.