I took a PTO day off work today to meet with my therapist, Josh Coleman who specializes in parent adult child estrangement. When I arrived early 35 miles from my home, I stopped at a coffee shop to pass the time until my 11am appointment. As I sat in the waiting room, I had every intention of not crying. I had dressed, put on my makeup, I had it down. What I wanted to say, how we were going to work through this difficult end of month with my daughter graduating this Sunday with her Master's degree in Fine Arts. What I was feeling about not being there. How I tried to buy her a birthday card yesterday, as her birthday is coming up June 2nd and why I could not because every card had imprinted words that just could not express what I wanted to say. I had to leave the store because of all the joyous symbols of graduation and every card that just did not fit. I sat down in his comfortable office determined not to cry. But it did not turn out that way. I cried at the onset. It was a good session. He has my back. He knows the pain and suffering of 5 years of estrangement. We will try to reach out to her mid-July to see if she is ready to start the process of talking. She has been all consumed with her graduation and has other issues that she is in therapy for, so we shall see. Needless to say, I came home with a huge headache from crying so much. With the grace of God and with my mother in heaven looking down at me and at her, there will be a day of peace, love, forgiveness and restoration for both me and my daughter. Until then, I have to get out there and start enjoying life again. Let my friends back in and experience the joy of life and the gratitude that I feel for what I have now. Live in the moment with no expectations of the future.