I made it through Christmas almost without estrangement drama. But it is over and now we can focus on the new year coming.

It was a relative sending a group text to me and my estranged adult children, and I wondered if this relative forgot we are all estranged or what is going on with their brain. I did ask the relative to remove me from the text string and don't send group texts to me in the future please. I said they are no contact for almost 2 years. 

It upset me but I am working on going back into acceptance. 

And then, the abusive estranged in-law sent us a gift! 

The research that Karl Pillemer, PhD did on estrangement says if you want reconnection don't expect or insist on apologies or the parties being in agreement over what happened. Wise advice but he uses the word "reconciliation" and without apologies and both parties taking ownership of what happened, it is merely a reconnection.

Which is better than estrangement, he says, except in situations involoving abuse. When we have abusive parties (cruelty, mean, critical, physical or emotional damage to us, stealing money, etc.), all this goes out the window. You can't "reconcile" with an abusive party.