Many of us have been cut off. I, like you wonder if I should force myself into her life by visiting without permission. In the end, I decided to respect her boundaries, although it's slowly killing me inside. If you force her to see you, aren't you just proving that she's right and you put your needs before her wishes.

I've tried over and over to reach out to my daughter only to have the old wounds rippen open again and needed to start the healing process again. Just because we are parents, it don't not guarantee that our relationships with our children are going to be perfect. I've tried but to no avail.

My experiences are similar. I've only seen my daughter once for about 15 minutes in the last 8 years and my grandson about the same. The circumstances were similar re financial support and this wasn't a one off. She insisted a mediator was needed. It was more difficult to arrange as I needed to find someone who would agree to Skype her since she lives in another country. She gave up after the first consultation and hasn't been in touch since. Whilst its bee heartbreaking I will not allow myself to be intimidated or bullied and have therefore conceded to her wishes. The worst thing is not being allowed to have any contact with my grandson which has been decidedly difficult. For many years she's had an on off relationship with me unless she needed something. Things somehat improved after she was married sadly however her husband left and things went back to the way they had been for years i.e. no contact whatsoever! I have no contact details for either her or my grandson Hard as this is I have given her what she obviously wants, freedom from me, because I have no choice in the matter and no matter how much I try I can't make her want, love or even like me. Sadly this leaves me with no alternative other than to accept her decision. There is absolutely no value in continuing to fret over something I cannot change.
Tragically these situations seem to be happening much more frequently.

My now 46 year old daughter cut me out of her and my grandson's lives in 2011 once again. She dumped me when she moved in with her first husband 19 years ago but we got back together probably b/c she thought she might need me someday. She used me, lied to me (and still lies about me) until she didn't need me anymore and then in 2011 she and her new husband (who makes more money) moved about 300 miles away. Thanks to my ex son-in-law I see my 12 yr. old grandson once or twice a year but she's trashed me to him so much, we don't have much of a relationship. For some reason she wants him and everyone else to hate me as much as she does. I've tried many times to have a relationship with her but was told by my ex son-in-law that she told him she was "done with me." Apparently so, I've tried to talk to her but she blocked my phone numbers and when I mailed letters to her she always returned them unopened. I would've done anything for her but today I like so many other parents, like Alexandress said, have to accept the fact that I can't make her care. It's been so hard to do this alone, my husband died 20 yrs ago. But I've learned that if your selfish adult children don't want you in their lives, there's nothing you can do to change them. It's hard to do but you have to move on or it will kill you and I want 2018 to be a better year in my life. God bless everyone who's hurting.