Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group
This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.
Hi everyone.. Hoping for some advice from someone who has experienced something similar. I have so much going on with my son these days that I'm totally exhausted and so worried about everything. :(
My 12 yr old son has ADHD/LD, and has struggled a lot in school the past couple of years. Two weeks ago, I had him transferred to a new school that offers an extensive LD program, which will help him catch up so he won't struggle so much as the years get more intense.
He's been completely miserable since I've transferred him. I know it must be very difficult.. a new school, a new system, he knows nobody, etc, and I have been very empathetic to that, and I know it takes some time. But he's turned from lovable kid with tons of friends to someone very withdrawn in just a couple of short weeks. My son is very shy, so he would never approach someone - he would wait until he was approached, which isn't happening. He's told me stories about how he talked to a few people here and there at school but hasn't met anyone new to hang out with, only to finally discover today that he is spending lunch entirely by himself with not even one person to talk to. He admitted to making up stories about him being ok so that I wouldn't worry. :(
I've also made a point of making sure he keeps contact with all his old friends from his old school, and tried on a few occasions to get him to contact them for a get-together over pizza etc. But he doesn't want to even talk to them, because he's afraid if they find out what school he is going to, they'll make fun of him (because a lot of special needs children attend this school).
I just don't know what to do. It breaks my heart that he's so sad all the time. I wonder if I should just give it some time and let him work through what he needs to work through (because I'm trying not to come to his rescue all the time, and give him some more independence)... but the other side of me is saying I should talk to the principal and see what we can do to help him at least make a friend or two. I know he'd be happier and feel less alone if he had someone in there to talk to.
What do you think? All I can do is cry, and I wonder if I've even made the right decision changing schools. I'm trying to do the right thing for him down the road, but the fact that I've made his life so miserable now is tearing my heart apart. :(
My 12 yr old son has ADHD/LD, and has struggled a lot in school the past couple of years. Two weeks ago, I had him transferred to a new school that offers an extensive LD program, which will help him catch up so he won't struggle so much as the years get more intense.
He's been completely miserable since I've transferred him. I know it must be very difficult.. a new school, a new system, he knows nobody, etc, and I have been very empathetic to that, and I know it takes some time. But he's turned from lovable kid with tons of friends to someone very withdrawn in just a couple of short weeks. My son is very shy, so he would never approach someone - he would wait until he was approached, which isn't happening. He's told me stories about how he talked to a few people here and there at school but hasn't met anyone new to hang out with, only to finally discover today that he is spending lunch entirely by himself with not even one person to talk to. He admitted to making up stories about him being ok so that I wouldn't worry. :(
I've also made a point of making sure he keeps contact with all his old friends from his old school, and tried on a few occasions to get him to contact them for a get-together over pizza etc. But he doesn't want to even talk to them, because he's afraid if they find out what school he is going to, they'll make fun of him (because a lot of special needs children attend this school).
I just don't know what to do. It breaks my heart that he's so sad all the time. I wonder if I should just give it some time and let him work through what he needs to work through (because I'm trying not to come to his rescue all the time, and give him some more independence)... but the other side of me is saying I should talk to the principal and see what we can do to help him at least make a friend or two. I know he'd be happier and feel less alone if he had someone in there to talk to.
What do you think? All I can do is cry, and I wonder if I've even made the right decision changing schools. I'm trying to do the right thing for him down the road, but the fact that I've made his life so miserable now is tearing my heart apart. :(
deleted_user
I went through this too. My son went from mainstream to a special school.. I noticed that the kids in my sons new school where less judgmental and more helpfull.. My sons new Principal asked one of the children that helped in the office and helped teachers to be a "Buddy" this person took my son through the school and showed him around. This person also sat with him at lunch and introduced him to there friends. It was nice... I too wanted to save him, I ended up embarrassing him instead. LOL.. With my son, I discovered that while he was in the special school it increased his self esteem and confidence where as when he was in mainstream he felt, and was called St***d.. The special school also has the manpower and knowledge to give more attention to students falling behind. After two years of special school my son returned to mainstream and graduated. I don't know if this help's you any... Give it time.
rockym
I agree with Athanasia.Give it time. You are doing what is best for your son and he won't realize it until he's older. Right now at his age he's looking at it from a social aspect which is normal. My son had to go to alternative school for 8th grade this year due to his behaviors which were caused by his learning disabilites. The staff at this school know how to handle kids like my son and he also gets more Reading interventions. I am bummed that they are sending him back to his regular school next week because i don't think he's ready but with a late start and new Reading program they implemented for him this year, I hope things go better for him. Continue to try to keep him in touch with his old friends and encourage him to find new friends at this school. Do you know if they ever have field trips or anything? This is usually a good opportunity for kids to get to know each other. Good luck!
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