Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group
This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.
My DS of 9, has struggles with ADHD for years. I noticed at Age 2 he was off and with some help with from his daycare and his early intervention team he was successful in early years however since going to school he has struggled immensely. Despite everything I try IEPs the medication role modeling and help at home I really feel like I'm making no progress. my boyfriend for almost 8 years has been around for most of my son's life and he struggled through it with me. The challenge there is that he feels at the Defiance Factor which causes a lot of problems he's slowly getting on board but he still feels like my attention to his ADHD is cuddling. How do I help my son without cuddling him how do I be a good mom and good-natured and sensitive to his needs but still raise him to be the young man with honesty integrity and motivation? I feel completely lost completely out of control without a path of how to help him. I've done several things to try to help motivate him and nothing seems to work. In the last 2 months I've seen his motivation drive and self-esteem plummet please help
My husband thinks I cuddle our girls too much too, but we aren't! They have an actual medical condition. You can wish it away all you want or be in denial and want to use tough love, but it doesn't work in my opinion and in many doctors opinions. You can have boundaries and rules and still make them apply it, but you have to be considerate of how much different their mind is than ours, and they don't see it as acting out, because their brains function different than ours. We can't be tough on them and make them be like other children. They have to grow and develop on their own timing, just like any other child. Every child develops differently and needs certain help and behaviors to thrive. Our kids need more direction and love and support to thrive and their is nothing wrong with that. You have to do what you feel in your heart is right, and not what your BF says is right. And I don't mean that disrespectful, my husband is in that same boat and I don't agree one bit on how they think we should ignore their needs and use tough love. You can be strict and still guide him as much as he needs.
I see nothing wrong with raising them to love people and help them when they need it, that's what we're doing. Or we could raise them to have a short temper, fly off the handle, and to not care how other people feel and to not care that they are struggling. You give them self-esteem when you don't make them feel like a burden, but instead make him feel like the kid you always wanted, faults and all. This will require lots of grace and patience from you. I use prayer to really help me.
One last thing, my girls are both ADHD and I put them on L-Theanine, a natural supplement over-the-counter (I get it on Amazon). Their doctor recommended that and GABA (you can get GABA in chewables on Amazon and I'm sure other supplement stores). My girls are also on a prescription though. One of my girls is Autistic and they found most ADHD meds don't work on her but the prescription Amandatine liquid has helped, and my other daughter is on metadate. Good luck!