Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group
This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.
Hello and if your reading this thank you for taking the time to read it. I have a situation that I am unsure of how to handle it. It has to do with my 9 old ADHD son and my husband's family. My son gets in trouble all the time when we go to my husband's sisters. Her son tattles on my son over every little thing. And he talks his way out of getting into trouble even if he's to blame and mh son gets disciplined. He is a hyper boy, and he does get into things. But he is a really good kid. My sister in law has alot of stupid rules at her house. It's like firt Knox there. We are strict with our kids but not like they are with theirs. Well they feel free to discipline our kids when we are there. And for a long time it didn't bother me because I was OK with how they handled it. But the last couple years its taken a turn for the bad. We don't even enjoy going there anymore. I actually get stressed out when I know we have to go there because I know my nephew is going to get my son in trouble non stop. Idk what to do about it. I told my husband since its his family he needs to tell his sister we need to have a sit down talk with the parents and two boys. He doesn't want to deal with the confrontation so he hasn't said a word to her yet. We have to go there for a brlirthday party in a couple of weeks and I would really like for this issue to be resolved. Should I just take the initiative myself and talk to his sister or how would you handle it? By the way controling behaviors run in their family gene's if you catch my drift. I was glad that my father in law and husband finally noticed how bad it is a month ago. My father in law actually spoke up and said something. And as usual my sister in law felt the need to talk in circles explaining why her son needed to explain what happened. Ahhh this is so irritating lol. Thanks in advance for any advice you have :)
My advice would be not to take the situation in your own hands. You may also anger your husband and then you will have another situation to deal with. It is up to your husband to confront his sister. If he is unwilling to do it then you may have to remove yourself from attending.
Since it is her house, you do have to abide by her rules no matter how Fort Knox they are. However, she should realize that children are not robots. It does not sounds like she is going to become aware of this though. Boys will be boys and are rambunctious and loud, especially a boy with ADHD. They can have a lot more energy, be impulsive and noisy. She does not realize this because her little boy has been taught by a drill sergeant, and does not know any better than the rules, and he is probably taught to tattle when others are not following the rules. Her poor little boy is going to grow up so uptight just like her! How does your son feel about going there? If he is not bothered, than let him and your husband go, and unfortunately, you should make an excuse as to why you cannot go (let your husband make the excuse to them). She is not going to change and you do not want to start trouble in the family. I know, because I have a sister in law like yours. Fortunately for us, they moved to another state, and I only have to deal with her for weddings, funerals, etc. now. Good luck to you. I feel for you.