Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group
This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.
Wow so i have been on a steep up hill climb dealing with my son and adhd and his school. For anyone who has not read any of my other post i am also adhd. I was forced to "fit in". So its even more frustrating to deal with people who look down on my son. I know what goes on in my mind and how sctambled i can feel especially on off days. I have tried very hard to work with anyone around and the school to try to have them see the big picture.
Wow! Never knew how one track people can be. I wish poeple can try to understand its not always a "i dont/wont" thing its a "i cant" thing. Wish they can see there are different types and diffenernt severities. I actually jas sone one tell me they are surprised i dont take anxity meds to help me deal with my son.
But even worse my sons teacher. She is nice but i dont think she can handle having to adjust to having adhd kids in her room. My son is 7 and in 2nd grade. Very smart. Its been a non stop stuggle and fight. I can count on one hand how many green or yellow days we had(green is good. Yellow is one warning. Blue is 2 warning and lose 1/2 recess and red is 3 or more warnings). He is currently on adderal. Going to dr to ask.for concerta. He still shouts out,gets out his seat, stuggles to complete his work even tho he knows the answers, and has been so emotional and cries alot in class. Oh and he lies about the color of his day just about every day.
well today i got a phone call from his teacher. I am not sure if to be angry or hurt. She informed me today that everyday for last few weeks the preaident of school board has been coming by her room every morning. And today my son and 2 other boys(one i know for sure has adhd also) was still not settled in their seats when the other students were. She had to help my son and the other 2 unpack and get there stuff out. She told me "its embarssing to have to do that" she moved their colors down because of this. When the guy asked her what was going on she got embarssed. I asked why she just didnt explain at least for my son he has adhd and meds are not working right. She was embarsssed that the kids couldnt manage to get in their aeats and start working and she shouldnt have to explain herself.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
I asked how the rest of day was.....the morning was emotional becaue she was already upset and flustard. And with my son thats stary a whole new thing because his adderal makes him cry at almost everything. But he earned alot of stickers for doing his work. After lunch he only shouted out one time during a math game. She admitted he got a red day because of the morning issue. She just wants the kids to do the morning routine perfect while that guy is there. Why cant she understand its s hard for them to make sure the routine is perfect especially when meds arw not working right. Its not that he doesnt try or dont want to! Sorry so long i needed to vent it all out.
Wow! Never knew how one track people can be. I wish poeple can try to understand its not always a "i dont/wont" thing its a "i cant" thing. Wish they can see there are different types and diffenernt severities. I actually jas sone one tell me they are surprised i dont take anxity meds to help me deal with my son.
But even worse my sons teacher. She is nice but i dont think she can handle having to adjust to having adhd kids in her room. My son is 7 and in 2nd grade. Very smart. Its been a non stop stuggle and fight. I can count on one hand how many green or yellow days we had(green is good. Yellow is one warning. Blue is 2 warning and lose 1/2 recess and red is 3 or more warnings). He is currently on adderal. Going to dr to ask.for concerta. He still shouts out,gets out his seat, stuggles to complete his work even tho he knows the answers, and has been so emotional and cries alot in class. Oh and he lies about the color of his day just about every day.
well today i got a phone call from his teacher. I am not sure if to be angry or hurt. She informed me today that everyday for last few weeks the preaident of school board has been coming by her room every morning. And today my son and 2 other boys(one i know for sure has adhd also) was still not settled in their seats when the other students were. She had to help my son and the other 2 unpack and get there stuff out. She told me "its embarssing to have to do that" she moved their colors down because of this. When the guy asked her what was going on she got embarssed. I asked why she just didnt explain at least for my son he has adhd and meds are not working right. She was embarsssed that the kids couldnt manage to get in their aeats and start working and she shouldnt have to explain herself.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
I asked how the rest of day was.....the morning was emotional becaue she was already upset and flustard. And with my son thats stary a whole new thing because his adderal makes him cry at almost everything. But he earned alot of stickers for doing his work. After lunch he only shouted out one time during a math game. She admitted he got a red day because of the morning issue. She just wants the kids to do the morning routine perfect while that guy is there. Why cant she understand its s hard for them to make sure the routine is perfect especially when meds arw not working right. Its not that he doesnt try or dont want to! Sorry so long i needed to vent it all out.
First off, the teacher is responsible for teaching your son the morning routines and reinforcing his behavior for following them. It's really not appropriate for her to feel embarrassed and then basically punish your son for her embarrassment. But all of that is beside the point because that's completely beyond your control.
I taught in a special program for kids with behavior problems and one of the things we did was to break the day into sections. For most kids, that meant a morning section and an afternoon section. We had a point system and if the child had a bad morning, they could easily have blown their whole day in a matter of minutes (similar to your color system). So, the question became...what is their incentive for pulling it together and having a fabulous rest of their day? Nothing. If I were your son's teacher, and he had a rough beginning, I would say something like, "You had a rough start, but we're going to start over from here." The teacher would then have the note home reflect this, so it might be "red" for the morning, but "green" for the rest of the day. It's actually a better reflection of how the day went anyway. But this requires that the teacher be willing to work with you. And I don't know if that's possible or not.
Something you can do, as a parent, is ask the teacher what exactly the morning routine is. Help your son learn the routine by writing it down, making a game out of it, draw pictures of it etc. Tell his teacher how you're working with him at home. Then, ask his teacher to write a quick note about how he did that day on that specific task/routine. You provide the incentive at home. If you can get the teacher to work with you on one behavior or routine at a time, you will all benefit.
My suggestion would be to ask to speak with the teacher after school sometime. Set up an actual meeting time. Tell him/her that you want to just focus on the one time of day that is most troublesome...which it sounds like, is the morning routine. The teacher will feel empowered knowing that you want to help and will,more than likely, actually start helping your son more. It's a psychological phenomenon.
I hope this all works out. The beginning of the year can be so difficult for our kids. I'm sure things will even out. Creating a team of supportive people around your child will make all the difference in the world. ~Running