Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group

This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.

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HELP. My son makes constant messes

brookewilliams02
brookewilliams02
My 8 year old son has severe ADHD, he also has ODD(oppositional defiance disorder). He is constantly making messes. With everything and now his little sister is following in his footstep. Shes not near as bad about it as he is but it still needs to stop. I don't know what to do. He sneaks food to the living room and his room when we are sleeping and makes messes, he drags toys all over the house and leaves them, he looses stuff all the time, hes basically a slob lol. He is on medicine for his ADHD. Im just looking for advice from other parents who may be dealing with this. How do you handle it? Have you found a way to help them learn to stop making messes and clean up after themselves? I cant take it. I will clean a room in my house and go to the next room and he is literally in the room I just cleaned messing it up. It almost seems like he cant stand a clean house lol. Someone Help please lol
cyberspirit
cyberspirit
That's exactly like my son was at 8. He never stopped ripping things apart and bouncing off the walls, he couldn't even stay seated to eat a meal. The only thing that kept his attention for more that 20 seconds was video games. After buying him a PS2 he started becoming more focused on playing the games and stopped tearing things apart, climbing/jumping etc. I know doctors will tell you that's not how to fix the problem, but will give you a break at least.. My son has ADHD, ODD and OCD. His HD improved as he got older but the ADD & other two remain a problem. He is now 18 and I'm not sure if he will ever really have a "normal" life. I know what it feels like to be in your shoes. Do you have him in therapy at all? The point system/reward chart thing helps alittle with the younger kids. I'm here to help other moms, if you want to talk, send my a message. God Bless.
brookewilliams02
brookewilliams02
We have a PS3 and a wii. He loves to play the PS3 and he loves to watch mine craft videos on YouTube which we allow him to do for short periods of time. He would do it all day if we let him lol. He was in behavioral therapy for a while. It helped a little.
larks
larks
Yup, my son is the same and is now 13! Unfortunately, with the ADHD, they have trouble focusing on anything for too long before going on to the next. So things get left behind, behind, and behind. It is a constant battle. The only advice I can offer is tell him he has to clean up this, this and this before he can play on the PS2 or wii. It helps for me to write down in order (1. 2. 3.) the chores he needs to do before more playtime. I know it is a pain, but they still need our help.
profjfl
profjfl
How do you handle it? Have you found a way to help them learn to stop making messes and clean up after themselves?

Luckly I am very handy for fixing things. Mr. Fix it. Yet it wears on me! like your words describe.
I recently just replaced the entire drywall in our bathroom due to the bathtub water ending outside more then inside over years.* I got smart used PVC bead board during the remodel.
Give him tasks !!!! If then statements- if you clean this then you can eat a sandwhich on your bed.
Suggest having a place where he can mess things up! like outside.
I found my son some boots and he goes to town outside with the mud- I hose him off and that gets a lot of the energy out. He knows thats the place for messes- its his freedom- its his energy release- theres no consquences.

As much as these parenting books talk about mellowing things done for bed- doesnt work for a ADHD kid- my suggestion is night time walk- we call it night time flash light walk- (again theres tasks involved) and he gets out some excercise/energy right before bed time and meds- which I think is good for an ADHD/ASD kid like ours.

Recap:
Learn to fix stuff - with stuff that can take a licking and keep on ticking
Assign tasks that are related to learning to clean up and rewards and if then statements
Have a messy place just for him- where messes are acceptable NO consequences. Everything else might stay cleaner.

Keep us informed!!!