Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group

This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.

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lonelyinNY 05/09/2011

I have an eleven year old son who has not been diognosed as of yet but in reading so many of your posts and knowing what I have been going through I believe its adhd.i have three older kids that were hyper but i just figured once they hit a certain age they would level out and no i wasnt gonna give them meds just because the school complained.And they did always level out or outgrow things.But my son is a whole other story and I am at my wits end....Just about everyday the school calls because he has gotten into trouble on the bus or in school.He is constantly touching people and lately being very mean to other kids.The school labels him as a danger to others,They suspend him for three days at a time and now want him permanetly off the bus.I have made doctors appts and waiting on a counselor appt.I have done these things on my own ,not because of the school.I hate the school ,I feel they should handle some of these issues instead of just keep sending him home...Now the school has turned me into child protective services because his behavioral problems have to be stemmed from something at home or so they think.I am outraged....I kill myself for my family to make our house a loveing home and i m just as upset and confused with my sons behaviors but his home is definately not a problem or unfit.What is this world comeing to.....My doctor has given me and the school a Conners questionare to fill out to see where he falls.I try to ask my son why he does the things he does and he always says i dont know or the other kids start it...I feel like I am all alone in this battle,My husband just says he is a spoiled brat and its all my fault our son gets in trouble.He just sends him to his room which has proved no good.The school has taken away gym class,lunch and any free time and has him sit in the office.At this point the kid is being punished 24/7 and he just doesnt care.One day I just say if the state wants him take him I cant handle anymore and then another day i just want to grab him,hug him and enjoy his smile.He truly isa good kid and would do anything for you,he is just makeing alot of bad choices and cant stay out of trouble.....Any input would be appreciated.hanks for letting me vent.

deleted_user 05/09/2011

hello firstly i would like to send out a warm hug i think that you need it.
Children are not bad, their behaviours can be something else but punishment is not the way to go. The school should try giving him a bit more responsibility at school like a job that is just his and offer reward schemes for when he does abide by the rules. Has anyone looked into whether he may be being bullied??
I too am struggling, i am not with my son's dad (he hardly see's him) but i have a new partner that is struggling to see the good in my son. My son is also undiagnosed but we are on track for that to happen soon. He is hard work but loving, and it is exhausting day to day but he needs you to stay strong for him because he can not see past his nose and what he is doing to those around him if he does have ADHD and it is our job to make sure that they learn how to be in society. If there is anything i can do just ask.

deleted_user 05/09/2011

Hi lonelyinNY,
Yes, you are on the right track to finding out. If the school is not willing to work with you, you have the right to go to the school district and request a "Full comprehensive evaluation" for him. I did with my daughter and they did all the testing necessary. They had a school counselor, psychologist go to her dayycare where she was at and observed her even before any other testing was done. You should also, if you haven't already, ask your family DR for a referral to a Psychologist, or in my daughter's case a Psychiatrist, so if he is medically diagnosed you can take that when you start the process of an IEP. I am sorry you don't have the support you need at home, but we are the moms and usually when we feel there is something beyond the behavior, we are right. I am sure you will have a lot of questions as time progresses and you will find this site is very helpful. I have found answers to some of my questions from other parents.I know the process can be overwhelming, but you will feel better once you know what is really going on with him. God bless and I hope things work out for you.

lizmom 05/09/2011

Well you should first let the school know that one of the best things for an ADHD kid is physical acitivy it helps get out all the nervous engery maybe he can be introduced to track and that was when P.E. is going on he can run laps it could help I know jacob does better when he skates to school and does swiming. it did take some work to get him into the runtine but he really likes it now and wants to learn tricks.

lonelyinNY 05/17/2011

thank you so much for all your support and encouragement.I am becomeing so deppressed and just cant handle anymore from the school or child protective services.i love my son and all my kids and i hate all this outside involvement..The school hired an aide to sit with my son on the bus for the two weeks of state tests and he didnt get into trouble but they said it was only temporary .now the bus driver said he can be picked up in the morning ,if he is good for four mornings in a row ,then he would earn one ride home in the afternoon.What a bunch of shit.i already told the school i can not afford to pick him up everyday.i called social services myself to tell them of the ridiculus plan and they agreed to call the school.no one called back so i guess my son will be staying home again tommarow...the school has the social worker convinced my son is bad and they are doing all they can ,no one is doing anything except makeing everything harder .my son doesnt have a chance to burn off energy because as i said the school took away gym class,recess,and lunch,any place he may bother other kids.and yes some of the kids arent the nicest and my son sticks up for himself.i just wish i could understand him.we are still in the process of waiting on counseling appts. and thank god school is almost over....i am just concerned about him getting behind while the school takes thier time figureing things out.my son acually made the high honor roll this last marking period.not so bad for such a so called troubled kid.i threw that in the deans face and she said well he should be doing good with all the one on one time he gets..i spent the day crying i just want things to be normal again....

deleted_user 05/19/2011

My son is 6 and in kindergarten. He was diagnosed early with adhd and is having a very hard time too this year. My advice to you is look on the internet for a local childrens advocate. Contact them and tell them what is happening and they can help you find a path. I am a single mom of 3 boys and life is like a roller coaster and I feel the same some days as you. It is sooo frustrating. Please know you are not alone. This week is particularly bad at my house so here I am looking for support. Looks like i found the right website:) Keep your head up..take a deep breath and love your son.

deleted_user 05/27/2011

For years i was bad parent and what ive come to learn is the only help i got was when i really was at breaking point and couldnt take no more. After ringing social services myself and stating my child was gonna harm himself or someone else if someone didnt assess him and help me he was the given a physchologist. but still feel that hes like a walking time bomb. my sons now been on 3 lots of medication all of which have adverse symtoms. he has come such a long way in two years at school on meds but weight loss and after 8 at night because these symptoms are just suppressed is very erratic and emotional. . seems like school arent helping but what i worked out a long time ago was children with adhd learn so much easier in small groups and one on one i would have agreed to a school change but head teacher wouldnt. i went to my gp and wrote all behavior at school and home down and wouldnt leave til i was reffered. my sons school try there best to help your school seems to punish but if thats the only way he gets great attention obviously the more he does it.. also if hes always out and punished there not helping but making him fall behind. really hope you get some kind of help adhd doctors really seemed to understand good luck x leanne

deleted_user 05/28/2011

Hello Lonely! I'm sorry you are dealing with these issues. I am having the same problens at my son's school and with my husband. I refuse to watch my son hurt so I try to help him any way I can. I sat in a mtg with the 504 team and he now has one in place. There's bullying going on in the ckassroom and they are picking with my son. So, he feels he needs to react to their verbal and physical interactions. Now that he's label the trouble maker the school makes sure the referrals aee written up to indicate that he's the problem! The real problem is that the teachers/administrators refuse to do their job. Sooooo, i'm going to keep fighting for my son
so don't give up. These schools need to be held accountable for managing our children. We pay enough taxes in these communities that the districts need to place better teachers with patience in these schools. Keep the faith and fight for your child! :-)

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