Parents of Addicts Community Group
A safe group for Mothers and Fathers of addicts, where we can share feelings, and ask for feedback.
My younger son remains (justifiably) furious with my older one - whose treatment of his younger brother was horrible while he was drinking. They are only 20 months apart, but the younger boy looked up to his brother and they were close before it all went south. I think that closeness made it even worse when my older one became so mean, abusive, and dishonest. They are now 18 and 20. It has been 2 years since they have spoken. My older one is back on track in most ways and doing much better. He has been embraced by everyone as he has returned from programs and a year of supporting himself working full time - and has started college. But his brother has received no apology and I don't know if he would accept one anyway. I would love to hear any stories of reconciliation. How does it happen? Does it happen?
The funny thing was that about 5 years ago, their grandma was declining in montana, and they wanted to go see her--each asked to. So I got us plane tickets and we went there and visited. They were so funny; they formed their old coalition against Mom and were just as mouthy together at me, and it did my heart good, actually, even though they were sort of rebelliious. So I know the germ of their old relationship is still there. They are 27 and almost 29 now; I have decided that what they do about their relationship is up to them. But I know they both have good hearts and whether they want their brother in their lives really is their decision.
I know that doesn't sound too helpful, but each of them has had a big job to do in growing up and establishing themselves and finding out and pursuing their own interests. And I give them credit for doing all that hard work, and I guess I am just grateful for what progress has been made all around.....