Parents of Addicts Community Group

A safe group for Mothers and Fathers of addicts, where we can share feelings, and ask for feedback.

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what to do with an addict at Christmas?

hushpuppyr
hushpuppyr
What do I get my daughter for Christmas? And her birthday in January? I just invited her out of the house on Monday, she's staying with friends, working and still calling her colorline and submitting UAs. Apparently clean since the threat of another stint in jail scares the hell out of her, but who knows if her boyfriend is as well. My dilema- I have a family photo sitting scheduled on Sunday. If she doesn't show up, do I go ahead with it? And my second question is- what do I get her for Christmas and her birthday? Or do I get her anything at all? God knows that the amount of chaos and trouble she has put our family through, she certainly doesn't deserve anything...does she? Thoughts, anyone?
BubblesDavey
BubblesDavey
I don't get my son anything. After his rejecting so many of our gifts I gave up. However, your daughter might like a gift certificate to a beauty salon for a manicure/pedicure.
Take care of yourself.
PS I would go ahead with the photo appointment.
bambusue
bambusue
i never get my son anything that he can turn into cash. he's trying to recover now, but i don't want to tempt his lesser nature. Of course, if they really want, they can turn just about anything into cash. I guess I mean I get him stuff he can really use, like clothing for winter. Movie tickets...
I do include my son in photos, and if a no-show, so be it. It's just another thing to learn acceptance on.
I guess it depends on your relationship.
I once read and pondered the thought that the strongest thing keeping an addict wanting to live is the love of their families. it was very hard, but i wanted my son to know our love, and so I don't exclude him. if he screws up on the holiday, so be it. That's on him.