Welcome to the club.
Joe

Welcome hushpuppy.You are right regarding one sentence in your post,probably more right than you know. You do care more about your daughters wellbeing than she does. While these young adults are using they are not the children we gave birth to. Your daughter does not care for herself, nor does she care for anything or anyone accept her drug of choice.
Letting go is the most difficult decision any parent will have to make. It was so hard for me I felt like my heart was being ripped out. I truly understand your pain and the emotional struggles you are experiencing. This is a very emotional journey that no one will fully understand unless they have walked in our shoes.
When I had to let go of my daughter we sat by the phone waiting for that dreaded phone call that something has happened. I used to rationalize that if we allowed our daughter to live at home we became the enabler and therefore partly responsible for her intake since she had more disposable income by living with us. I dont mean to sound harsh but do you want to be the one who helps her to continue using.
As much as I hate to admitt this I have been through this with 2 of my children so I am here for you if you have any questions please feel free to ask.

To end this post on a positive note both my children are clean and both have passed their one year of sobriety.The sooner they hit bottom and admitt they need help there is nothing you can do to help your daughter.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Sounds all too familiar. Been at this with our daughter for over 10 years. You have to detach with love. Remember you did not cause the addiction, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it. Once we learned that it makes a huge difference. Take care of you. She has to do it. She already is showing you that you cannot control her. Do not enable her. Stick to your boundries.

Thank you for the your responses to Hushpuppy. Letting go has been the #1 challenge for me with our son. He is 40 yrs. old, alcoholic/mentally ill. Only the parents can understand the true heartache of saying "No."

Prayers and Meditation (Step 11) help me get through the day.

Because each person, parent, friend and partner is different; and each addict/alcholic is unique. There is never a boilerplate answer for the right thing to do. Each one of us must find in our heart what we are capable of handling and do what we feel is right. The very best we can hope for is we do not become so emotionally entangled in their disease, we damage our own life in hopes of saving theirs.
Stay Strong, Good Luck and God Bless.

I totally understand. I have a 20 yr old son, heroine addict also. He had been going to outpatient, recently had a dirty urin test with drug court, so he was put in the county jail for 3 days, and then he will be brought back to court to hopefully be sentenced to long term inpatient treatment. He was admitted to the hospital the day before he went to jail for chest pains, turned out he had a heartattack. He would not stay overnite to complete the testing required for a complete diagnosis. I am sure it was drug related & he was itchy to get out before he totally went thru withdrawl. I have not gone to see him in jail, I really am concerned, but nothing I have done in the past 3 years has convinced him to get clean, so maybe if I stop enableing him, he will have to make his own choices & consequences. I want him to know that his behavior is not acceptable and if he does not go to long term treatment he will have to leave the house. It breaks my heart also, but I am afraid if I don't stay strong he will continue doing drugs, possibly overdose & I would rather he be mad at me & be alive. (Considering his recent heartattack) I always try to be optimistic, hopefully things will turn around for your daughter. Just don't beat yourself up, they need boundaries, which I am now really trying to stick to. Good Luck

this is a poem i wrote many years ago.

LETTING GO
TO LET GO DOES NOT MEAN TO STOP CARING
TO LET GO IS NOT TO CUT MYSELF OFF
TO LET GO IS NOT TO ENABLE
TO LET GO IS NOT TO BLAME AR CHANGE ANOTHER
TO LET GO IS NOT TO FIX
TO LET GO IS NOT TO JUDGE
TO LET GO IS NOT TO ARRANGE RESULTS
TO LET GO IS NOT TO BE OVERPROTECTIVE
TO LET GO IS NOT TO NAG, SCOLD AND ARGUE
TO LET GO IS NOT TO ADJUST EVERYTHING TO MY DESIRES
TO LET GO IS NOT TO CRITICIZE OR MANIPULATE ANOTHER
TO LET GO IS NOT TO REGRET THE PAST
IT MEANS I CAN'T DO IT FOR ANOTHER
IT ALLOWS LEARNING FROM NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
IT MEANS THE OUTCOME IS NOT IN MY HANDS
I CAN ONLY CHANGE MYSELF
I CAN BE SUPPORTIVE
IT ALLOWS OTHERS TO BE THEMSELVES
IT ALLOWS OTHERS TO DETERMINE THEIR OWN OUTCOME
IT ALLOWS OTHERS OUR LOVE ONES TO FACE REALITY
IT HELPS TO ACCEPT
I CAN SEARCH OUT MY OWN SHORT COMINGS AND CORRECT THEM
I NEED TO TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES
I CAN STRIVE TO BECOME WHAT I DREAMED I CAN BE
I CAN GROW AND LIVE FOR THE FUTURE
TO LET GO IS TO FEAR LES AND LIVE MORE
NEVER GIVE UP HOPE
TRY PRAYER. IT WORKS
WENDY T

I love that. Thanks for sharing it.